Boils Advisory for Ozark, MO

City plagued with boils

Ozark, MO – A problem with the water has prompted a boils advisory for the City of Ozark. The City says the advisory affects residents who have skin, hair follicles or those who are prone to be near bacteria. According to the city’s website, the advisory is in place to slow the boils spread – already hundreds of residents have reported boils across their face, neck, armpit, buttocks, and thighs.

Doctor Ganges Ebert said, “Boils are very common. They are most often caused by the bacteria Staphylococcus aureus. They can also be caused by other types bacteria or fungi found on the skin’s surface. Damage to the hair follicle allows the infection to grow deeper into the follicle and the tissues under it.”
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Most citizens are unaware that they are “carriers” of the staph germ, and that it normally lives on their skin or in their nose without doing them any harm. Resident Trent Yonkers agreed to be interviewed and when presented with this fact he screamed, “What the H, E, double hockey sticks? We’re all gonna die of boils!”

According to people who have the knowledge, boils may occur in the hair follicles anywhere on the body. “You’ve got to be shittin’ me…” exclaimed Yonkers peering at his muffy man-arms. Doctor Ebert continued, by saying tiny breaks in the surface of the skin, such as those caused by friction or scratching, however, can help the germ gain entry into and infect the hair follicle, resulting in a boil.

Upon hearing this news, Yonkers immediately left for home intent to shave his arms, back, legs and head during this boils advisory to prevent any inflammatory hair follicles from developing into boils.