MSU Freshman Becomes 100% Adult in One Month

Complete college transformation in 30 days

Springfield, MO – Only one month after leaving her home for MSU to pursue her bachelor’s degree, Becky Wolf has reached total and complete adulthood. Becky, a Communications Major, who just recently enjoyed wild high school parties, immature boys, and frivolous pop culture fads, is now focused on securing a stable future.

“This did happen quickly,” Becky said, while taking down her Justin Bieber poster to put up a tasteful framed print of Calmar at Dawn. “But, college matures you so quickly: the hours of study; the plethora of stimulating, academic conversations to all hours of night; and the complete maturity of my peers, especially the ones entering fraternal organizations.”

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“College has really been a dream,” said Wolf, wearing a sensible top and knee length A-line skirt, as she addressed her dinner guest crowded around her dinner table in the annex of her dorm room (acquired by knocking down the wall to the adjacent room), “Just a month ago, I was a naïve freshman wondering where life will take her, and her I am, a knowledgeable and worldly woman…thank you MSU.”

Becky plans to get divorced, become an alcoholic, and hit rock bottom by the Spring semester.

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