Archive for September, 2013
Samurai Sword Assault Prompts Debate Over Samurai Sword Control
Springfield, MO- After the samurai sword assault that occurred on Wednesday (where a man attacked his friend after catching him in bed with his girlfriend) law makers are scrambling to create laws that will facilitate stricter regulations on the deadly blade. “This is serious,” says state senator Larry Forks. “Samurai sword violence has escalated 100% […]
Email Hackers Snatch Spamalot! Tickets
Springfield, MO – Ticket sales have improved thanks to dozens of email hacking groups purchasing large blocks of seats to the Springfield Little Theatre’s production of Spamalot!, opening this week. The show, a musical comedy “lovingly ripped off from” the 1975 film Monty Python and the Holy Grail, is a highly irreverent parody of the […]
Mosquito Honored for Biting Thousands Of People
Springfield, MO – Mosquitos across the Ozarks are gathering later this week to congratulate and recognize one particularly busy mosquito who has individually bitten thousands of people over the summer. According to official reports, a mosquito named Wiox has notched 23,478 human bites. The campaign to collect human blood has been ongoing for several months […]
