Salty Bear Nuts Actually Quite Tasty

Boomer’s bearhood in a can

Springfield, MO – Missouri State Bears fans now have the unique opportunity to eat Bear Nuts, which are widely available across Ozarks grocery stores. Bear Nuts are consumed by grabbing a handful, cupping the nuts and slamming them into a wide open mouth.

“I like to support my local team and I can’t think of a better way to do it than by eating their nuts,” said Gabe Frontie, a 2010 MSU graduate. A great party food, Bear Nuts are easy to transport. “I usually keep a bunch of Bear Nuts around…sometimes I find a few nuts in my pocket. I’ll usually eat them ‘cause I know each nut I consume represents my fanatic stance toward college student-athletes and the athletic programs,” said Frontie.

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Bear Nuts chefs claimed it took several hours of formulation before the finally perfecting the Ozarks’ Oysters. “I spent several hours testing focus groups, asking “how do you like these nuts?”, “how do these nuts feel on your tongue?” and “are you sucking on Bear Nuts or crunching on them?”, said Chef Tim Ploleo. Many man hours were spent massaging Bear Nuts mouthfeel by hand.

Drury fans are contemplating a launch of Panther Nuts in a soft black bag but are waiting until walnut season to harvest.