MUSEUM OF AMBULANCE CHASING HISTORY SLATED FOR SPRINGFIELD

Springfield, MO – Boasting more accident-injury law firms per capita than any other city in the nation, The Springfield Chamber of Commerce has announced groundbreaking plans for a museum dedicated to preserving and honoring the history of the wildly profitable branch of law once cynically dubbed “Ambulance Chasing”.

I. (Ichabod) Slipp, CEO of the future museum’s chief sponsor, The Law Offices of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe, a pioneer in developing strategies for slip and fall litigation, explained why they chose to use the old term, ambulance chaser, in the name of the museum.

“In the old days that’s what they called us, because, well, actually a few fellows did follow an ambulance or two to the hospital, but only to better serve a potential client. We’re here to show that we are not ashamed of our trade. We consider our work sacred, and the only way to protect innocent citizens from not being compensated for someone else’s negligence, and, in a few lucky instances, their own negligence. I can assure you, on behalf of my staff attorneys and myself, if we didn’t have the financial burden of homes in exclusive neighborhoods, much-needed vacation homes, country club membership fees, and high maintenance trophy wives, you know…the things most working Joes out there have, we would do this for minimum wage.  The thirty-five percent we get from each settlement? Trust me, it barely covers our expenses.”

The structure that will house the museum is scheduled to be completed by Christmas, next year. It will be built on the site of the St. Vincent de Paul Orphanage as soon as the remaining holdout nuns and children are evicted, and the one-hundred-fifty-year-old charitable institution can be bulldozed. Prominent Springfield Corporate Law Attorney, Erskine Flint, is handling acquisition of the land.

The positive effect of healthy fats has been proven mouthsofthesouth.com buy cialis viagra by studies in helping with sexual performance. Going down mouthsofthesouth.com buy cialis overnight when it comes to homes on the market, Montgomery Al, there is an improving requirement for organic alternatives of substance and artificial development components and shows.Unblemished roofs are in when it comes to a real estate, Montgomery and other places are monitoring a being rejected of the pockmarked roof messy with lighting, smoking sensors and everything. Semal Musli is another potent herb to improve male stamina and sexual health. mouthsofthesouth.com purchase viagra It also cialis online increases the girth so that maximum pleasure can be obtained from lovemaking. “I know some people will misconstrue this as somehow callous or inhumane, like we are putting the orphans out on the street to further our own cause. But when I was a kid it was a universal fact that kids do better the more fresh air they get. On those rare occasions I’m north of the courthouse, driving down Commercial Street, I see all those adorable guttersnipes sitting on the curb in front of The Missouri Hotel, playing stickball and whatnot, or walking up and down the sidewalks with their moms, getting an invaluable, early education in street smarts, not to mention plenty of sunshine. I tell you, it warms my heart.

And frankly, I’m tired of it!” bellowed Flint, referring to the negative image of accident injury attorneys.

“Lawyers throughout the ages have had to endure this prejudice, and undue stereotyping as pikers, ever since Jesus chose to pick on us in The Gospels. You know, that bit about “Woe unto you also, ye lawyers!” Nothing against Jesus, but I just don’t think he understood what our profession would one day become, you know what I’m saying? And let’s face it, without the laws of men to protect our investments against indigents who don’t pay their mortgages in a timely fashion, there would be economic chaos. Am I right?”

Besides housing an impressive library of hardbound case histories and legal precedents, there will be a hall of fame gallery featuring action holograms of the personal stories and contributions of the men that brought ambulance chasing from a much derided branch of the legal profession, to what I. Slipp refers to as “A vocation as noble and honorable, in the service of our fellow man, as politics.”