Assassinations Feared as Ninja-Warrior Gym Opens

Well manicured hands is a staple of American ninjas

Well manicured hands are a staple of American ninjas

Springfield, MO – Citizens across the region are expressing concern over the opening of Warrior Sports that features similar obstacles and training in order to strengthen and produce American Ninja Warriors here in the Ozarks.

“I don’t believe that we should be encouraging our young people to become covert agents or mercenaries,” said Helen Figrothberg of Springfield, “we have enough problems battling evil forces like graffiti and skateboarding in parking lots.”

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Clans of ninjas roaming the area is a long-term concern. “We’ve had baldknobbers, gang-bangers and Branson entertainers terrorizing our citizens over the years. We need to protect future generations now by ceasing to support the tribal transference of ninja knowledge within our community,” said Herbie Wardklopper who fears cane swords, blow guns and eggshells filled with blinding powder.

Supports claim that the gym is a place for having good clean fun while engaging in an active sport, however they do see a time when Bass Pro Shops ninja warriors could be hired to secretly locate special pricing at Academy Sports while evading their own retained force of ninja warriors.

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