Comments for Fair City News

Comment on Squirrels Express Themselves Via Pine Cones by Dave

Dave — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:36:51 +0000

Squirrel gangs don’t have opposable thumbs to operate spray paint cans. They have to improvise with whatever nature provides. At least the squirrels are more intelligent than human graffiti artists.

Comment on Snake Oil by Dave

Dave — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:32:51 +0000

I think it was Homer Simpson who said, “snake oil, is there anything it can’t do?” By the way, we have a radio station around here that carries local snake oil infomercials all afternoon. Gotta love it.

Comment on Missouri Primary Results Show We Can Waste Money! by Dave

Dave — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:16:19 +0000

I considered filing for the presidential primary, but then I realized that local TV stations with their all-knowing mystical abilities could declare me “not qualified” even if the Missouri Secretary of State declares that I am qualified by putting my name on the ballot.

Comment on Missouri Primary Results Show We Can Waste Money! by Dave

Dave — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:11:05 +0000

Missouri lawmakers did manage to get together and vote to change the primary date which would have allowed people who don’t care about any party all year long to barge in and decide the candidates for the parties, but the governor vetoed it because he loves the vote to nowhere. And because the state paid for the primary, we were able to piggy back with our local petition initiative vote with less than 15% of the people participating. I loved the choices on the Democrat side too. One opposed to abortion, and two nut jobs who think the President is too conservative. And of course Mr Uncommitted got 6.3% of Democrat votes state wide.

Comment on Nobody To Vote For…Bummer by Dave

Dave — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 01:05:14 +0000

I thought about voting for Unc Omitted. He or she or whatever is on both primary ballots. That kind of spunky effort deserves some support.

Comment on Nobody To Vote For…Bummer by Dave

Dave — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 00:37:16 +0000

Lt Frank Drebin said, “I want a world where the democrats will put somebody up there worth voting for!”

Comment on Nobody To Vote For…Bummer by Dave

Dave — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 00:33:05 +0000

The president has three opponents on the Democrat primary ballot in Missouri. Two guys are running because they think Obama is just too dang conservative. And then there is the anti abortion guy. BTW, estimates suggest the number of abortions since Roe v Wade equals the number of illegal aliens living in the US. Is it a coincidence? You tell me.

Comment on Farmer’s Market Throw-Down by Dave

Dave — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 00:17:41 +0000

And speaking of shooting Moe Greene, Hyman Roth said, “And I said to myself, this is the business we’ve chosen; I didn’t ask who gave the order, because it had nothing to do with business!”
Oh well, to the mattresses then.

Comment on Strafford Schools Adopt Chupacabra as School Mascot by Hermione Granger

Hermione Granger — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 14:57:13 +0000

You know this is satire, right? Satire? It’s when you take….you know what? Never mind.

Comment on Strafford Schools Adopt Chupacabra as School Mascot by amy glenn

amy glenn — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 05:10:16 +0000

I go to strafford highschool and this is a big pile of bull malarki! Were still the Indians. Who the Hell came up with this load of crap?! I’m lettin everyone out there readin this that none of this is true. Who ever wrote this has got too much time on their hands