FIFA's World Cup Finale continued to interrupt KSPR's Special Weather Report

Springfield, MO—A local ABC-affiliated television station attempted to broadcast a special weather report on Sunday, however, it was interrupted several times by the presentation of FIFA’s final game of the World Cup.

Karl Hirky, a Springfield resident, who was tuned in at the time said, “I like watching the weather in Camdenton, MO so the special update was something I was planning to view all weekend, heck even all week. I was really excited to see what Mother Nature is up to in my community and 80 miles away from my home.”

Conventional wisdom suggests that stations positioned closer to the action such as KMIZ, KNLJ, KRCG, KOMU-TV or KMOS-TV would provide sufficient weather coverage without the need for a special interruption on a Springfield station. However, few Springfieldians realize that KSPR is the only ABC-affiliated station that provides an ABC perspective to the Lake of the Ozarks area.

“I can honestly say I was excited when the World Cup broke into the weather report and the station went to a split screen. My boat and boat dock were just destroyed by the hellish tornado in our area and I had nothing else to do, having just lost my valuable possessions. So, I  decided to watch the soccer game,” confessed Rosie McDamniels of Camdenton, MO.

A station representative said that they successfully blocked most of the World Cup during the height of the far-off danger, yet there were periods of time when they could only cover up half of the screen with a weather map and screen crawl. Hirky admitted that perhaps he should have been more interested in the World Cup game as “soccer has prolly hurt more people than tornadoes worldwide.”

One local family will be featured on the less than popular Mildly Satisfying: Home Makeover Edition series when they roll into town early this fall.

The two shows, EMHE and MSHME, share several similarities in that they both have celebrity carpenter hosts, redo a deserving family’s home and do it all in just one week.

Mildly Satisfying Home Makeover Edition host Al Borland from ABC’s “Home Improvement” says that the most satisfying day of the week long build is when he prompts the crown to shout “Move that Winnebago!” exposing the new home to the selected family.

“We do things differently from our cousins at EMHE, our families are treated to an upgraded home but without the excesses that you see featured on the other program,” said the slightly overweight, and always seen wearing flannel, Borland who is clearly the antithesis to Ty Pennington’s Hollywood appeal.

“Yeah, it was nice. Not too fancy, nothing over the top, just something that really helped out my family in a big way. Oh yeah and no stupid theme rooms my kids will outgrow in 6 months and kill the resale value of the joint,” said recent MSHME recipient Joe Tamany of New Jersey.

MSHME homes provide a clear upgrade to deserving families, but do it within limits. For example, instead of a 900 sq foot kitchen outfitted with marble counter tops and stripper poles, a MSHME home kitchen would be 300 sq ft with a nice marble substitute and no poles.

This scaled-down approach benefits hundreds more families across the US due to efficiencies in labor, materials and promotion. Plus ABC can actually afford to pay for these homes and not rely upon a huge web of volunteers, contractors and builders. One other difference is family inclusion; instead of sending the families off to la-la land, they help build the home and learn valuable work skills they can use the rest of their life.

“Unfortunately, ABC doesn’t bring in the same ad revenue with MSHME as we do with EMHE, but we keep the show around for laughs. Look at Al, he’s still wearing flannel!” said a slimy, greedy ABC network executive.

In related news, a source on-site a recent build for Mildly Satisfying Home Makeover Edition reportedly leaked a new show coming out this fall on ABC, the all-new MMA Carpenter Cage Match: Al Borland vs. Bob Vila.

“All of the workers, all the volunteers, absolutely everyone assembled started listening to Ty Pennington speak and once he started welling up, well we all just lost it,” said Nixa builder Sam Clifton of Millstone Custom Homes, the primary builder of the unfinished home, “unfortunately we did more sobbing than building for most of the week.”

When the new home recipients, Chris and Niki Hampton and their six children, were informed that the project was delayed by excessive sobbing, they were excited to remain at Walt Disney World while construction was completed.

“I didn’t realize how little could be accomplished based on raw emotion. But we’ll take another week of hanging with Goofy and the Big Mouse,” said Niki Hampton.

Several hardcore construction workers were reduced to tears while hearing the story of the Hamptons coupled with the realization that they would be responsible for providing an amazing home equipped with new products from Sears, The Home Depot and other prominent sponsors’ gear. Home framer Jim “stone-face” Tough said, “I, uhm, just want to *sniff-snif* say that, I uh, am just so happy that we were provided the opportunity to (blowing of nose) almost make this happen for this family.”