Indie Ozarks offers equal programming to viewers

Springfield, MO – Former television station KSFX becomes KOZL Ozarks Local today, and will serve as the Ozarks first indie, or independent, outlet for information in our area. The new station will pride itself by showcasing local independent bands, motion pictures and will feature 24 hours of news not mandated by the “fox”, er “man”.

“Finally, we are not under the conservative thumb of Rupert Murdock’s News Corp. and his phone hacking cronies. We are free and independent American journalists not held to the withering standards of our former English media mogul owner,” said one source, “Before Rupie killed The News of the World we knew it was time to find a way out fast.”

Fortunately, KOZL Ozarks Local formed an indie strategy to serve the people of Southwest Missouri. No longer a FOX affiliate, KOZL can now focus on quality programming and will release a schedule of indie music reviews, sketch comedy, and themed movie nights. “We have long been fans of the SATO48 film challenge. While local venues, such as the Moxie, have previously shown these flicks we are looking forward to carrying some of these local films on our station,” said the GM.

Indie music coverage will be provided as well, covering local acts as well as touring bands and groups who swing by Randy Bacon Studios en route to SXSW. The comedy schedule will include series such as Ozarkslandia, Skinny Improv TV, The Improvadors Show, the return of The Mystery Hour (a local talk show) and round out the schedule with a full half hour of Fair City News updates.

“Local independent productions will subject to review and we won’t be broadcasting anything in poor taste. Plus we won’t have to show any foreign films because we are local,” said one staffer.

Wearable Art designed a shirt that they can color in response to their infinate growth record

Joplin, MO- Fresh off their first trade show in Dallas this past weekend, local start-up Wearable Art experienced record tying infinite growth over the previous month, most likely fueling the 115 point rally on Wall Street.

“The exciting dynamic with start-ups is the tremendous growth. GE or Wal-Mart can’t touch the infinite growth rate,” explains co-founder Taylor Fox. Investors are often thrilled with modest 10% growth rates of these blue chip stocks, but not in Southwest Missouri. Local investor Greg Leezak explains his investment strategy, “I invest in businesses I understand, and I understand coloring on my own clothes is fun. How could this business not succeed?”

The infinite growth is causing a panic at Missouri State business classes. Assuming Wearable Art sold $10,000 worth of product this month and none last month, (10,000-0)/0 yields an error on students’ calculator. “The teacher was so flustered by the situation. He had no idea what the error meant and just cancelled class,” explains a relieved student Kimberly Foster.

But with infinite growth comes problems as co-founder Mike Wakefield, in charge of production, points out. “The machines are working infinitely harder than last month, I am working infinitely harder and we have to order an infinitely larger amount of shirts and coloring pastels.”

Wearable Art’s initial success has sparked a rush of investor interest but Fox is hesitant. “It will be difficult to continue this rate of growth and I am fearful investors will be disappointed if we come off this growth rate next month.” Investing aside, kids can now express themselves on their clothes, and what is better than that?