StormTracker3 has rendered StormTracker 1 & 2 obsolete

Springfield, MO—Officials at KY3 have announced plans to auction off old weather forecasting equipment given the proven reliance of StormTracker3. StormTracker1 & StormTracker2 will be listed at a public auction this weekend. All proceeds will go toward the the purchase of future needs and an anticipated StormTracker4.

During a dramatic camera pan Chief Meteorologist Ron Hearst said, “Stormtrackers 1 and 2 served us well in the beginning; we just have no use for them now that we have StormTracker3.”

Reports suggest that the separation from ST1 & 2 was a difficult task for several members of the news team. While the aged equipment no longer met the needs of the StormTeam, the machines produced strong feelings of nostalgia.

“I remember when I first started at KY when StormTracker2 was cranking out reports…those were the days,” said former news anchor Jerry Jacob. StormTracker1 was installed in 1961 by Fred Miller who created the storm tracking mechanism out of a shoe box, a gyroscope and a tube of mercury. ln 1985, when Tom Dye moved over from KOLR-TV, Miller instructed Dye on how to make StormTracker2 to suit his needs. The secret blueprints were then passed on to create what Ozarkers rely on today as StormTracker3.

Ned Reynolds has agreed to preside over the public auction of the antiquated StormTracker equipment in exchange for a new SportsTracker model to use during the evening news.

Springfield—KYTV’s horn player has decided to quit the show. Harry Pally, who played the main theme song music for local TV station KY3 for decades has quit citing lack of recognition and a bad case of “terrible boredom”.

“Every morning show, every noon, every evening, each news break, day after day after day. It starts to wear on a man after a while,” said Pally referring to his rigorous work schedule.

KYTV general manager, Eric Norman, said he had no idea Pally was playing live all these years. “Couldn’t we have recorded that like 30 years ago?” said the puzzled GM. Norman flew into a tizzy when he learned that in fact no one had thought to record the instrumental before Pally left. “(Ned) Reynolds must have that tune memorized by now, get that man a tuba!” Norman said, mistakenly identifying the lead instrument in the stations prominent ditty.

“Figure I’ve played that tune 436,454 times over the past 50 years. Time for me to record me a solo album or git on the road and see the country playing my French horn from town to town,” pontificated Polly.

Polly never considered himself a quitter and held onto the only job he’s known based on the great camaraderie he enjoyed from the other station crew and anchors.
“I remember when Fred Miller and Tom Dye once filled my horn with confetti before the 10 o’clock news. Boy that was a hoot,” recalled Polly.

KYTV news is asking any viewer who might have a copy of the song recorded to submit it to the station as soon as possible.