Branson Airport adds trophy mounts to all flights

Springfield, MO—Not to be outdone by the Springfield-Branson National Airport’s increase in passengers, the Branson Airport has unveiled plans to add hunting trophies to the interior of each flight arriving and departing from the terminal.

“Most airports have distinct personalities, we have a rustic outdoor sporting feel and the taxidermy has been a welcome addition to flights for our customers,” said Branson Airport management.

Most flights originating from the Branson Airport will feature multiple stuffed animals both in first class and coach seating. “First curtain will contain the more exotic mounts, the lions, bears, tigers…all the Oz animals, coach will have whitetail deer, birds of prey and animals indigenous to the Ozarks,” said Rusty Maltrop, a local taxidermist assigned to create the in-flight wildlife museum.

Passengers arriving today were the first to experience the new décor and most had a positive experience. Jessica Rutledge said, “it was cool, I was a bit cramped because the deer head in my aisle was mounted to the side of the plane and the antlers were poking me, but y’know I liked it.”

“I went to place my carryon bag into the overhead compartment and a huge turtle greeted me. I was surprised at first. In fact, I had to dry my pants in the lavatory before we took off. I loved it, what a great story to tell my family,” remarked Kenny Ribbles.

The Branson Airport has plans to install robotic mounts to help with the preflight instructions. According to reports, a robotic beaver will guide passengers through seatbelt usage, emergency exit procedures and water landings.

Frontier Airlines cited the added esthetics as the decisive factor in determining whether or not to add services to the Branson Airport. Frontier released a statement saying, “We think an airport that is dedicated to providing a custom, unique experience is a good fit for our brand. We’re excited to service outdoorsy people from the Ozarks hills to the Rocky Mountains.”