Wearable Art designed a shirt that they can color in response to their infinate growth record

Joplin, MO- Fresh off their first trade show in Dallas this past weekend, local start-up Wearable Art experienced record tying infinite growth over the previous month, most likely fueling the 115 point rally on Wall Street.

“The exciting dynamic with start-ups is the tremendous growth. GE or Wal-Mart can’t touch the infinite growth rate,” explains co-founder Taylor Fox. Investors are often thrilled with modest 10% growth rates of these blue chip stocks, but not in Southwest Missouri. Local investor Greg Leezak explains his investment strategy, “I invest in businesses I understand, and I understand coloring on my own clothes is fun. How could this business not succeed?”

The infinite growth is causing a panic at Missouri State business classes. Assuming Wearable Art sold $10,000 worth of product this month and none last month, (10,000-0)/0 yields an error on students’ calculator. “The teacher was so flustered by the situation. He had no idea what the error meant and just cancelled class,” explains a relieved student Kimberly Foster.

But with infinite growth comes problems as co-founder Mike Wakefield, in charge of production, points out. “The machines are working infinitely harder than last month, I am working infinitely harder and we have to order an infinitely larger amount of shirts and coloring pastels.”

Wearable Art’s initial success has sparked a rush of investor interest but Fox is hesitant. “It will be difficult to continue this rate of growth and I am fearful investors will be disappointed if we come off this growth rate next month.” Investing aside, kids can now express themselves on their clothes, and what is better than that?

Nixa charges $5.00 to visit recetn sinkhole

For the third year in a row the Nixa area has been hit with a surprise sinkhole, although this year it is an altogether different kind. In the two previous years the ground caved in swallowing all the land and whatever happened to be built on top of it.  This year the financial market caved in swallowing all of the money and whatever investments happened to be built on top of it.
“We were as surprised as anybody that this happened,” said Nixa mayor Gary Flanders. “We’re just happy no one was seriously injured, well except for Backyard Burger.” Although, Backyard Burger was not physically harmed, financially they were run out of business.
“We didn’t see it coming at all,” explains Backyard Burger manager Alan Whistle. “There was a big noise and all of the sudden we’re buried.”
The site of the sinkhole has become an attraction of sorts as onlookers have come by to peer in the hole and see the semi buried sales tax revenues, stocks, businesses, and debris.
“I ain’t seen nothin’ like it,” said local Trevor Knight. “I brought my family. It’s not everyday you get to see something like this. I think it’s their own fault for building in Nixa.”
In an effort to raise funds the City of Nixa is charging $5.00 to visit the sinkhole.