Ribbons proved too tempting at cutting ceremony

Springfield, MO—A planned celebration took a turn for the worse today as several children’s hair bows were snipped during the Hickory Hills ribbon cutting ceremony. The planned activities called for school district leaders to cut a gigantic blue ribbon to celebrate the LEED certified educational facility, unfortunately, several children were chased by parents and teachers running with scissors struggling to cut hair ribbons in the student’s hair.

“I screamed ‘don’t run with scissors, don’t run with scissors’ but the adults weren’t listening. They all wanted to cut a ribbon. And I had a big yellow bow tied in my hair. It was shredded in a matter of minutes,” said fourth grader Allie Sims.

The dedication ceremony scene was likened to watching hounds chase rabbits as parents and teachers chased students who scattered hap hazardously to save their hair decorations. Most boys were not pursued and left to observe the unusual ritual. “I was really surprised…it was awesome,” said fifth grader Joe Thurman, “those adults can run real fast!”

“I’m not sure what happened to me. I saw a ribbon sliced in two, and then there was a pair of snips in my hand… I was overcome with scissor fever and I had to cut ribbon for myself!” said an unidentified parent.

The district is still trying to figure out what to do with the scraps of ribbon produced during the ribbon massacre. As the new building at East Division and Farm Road 193 is environmentally friendly, they are currently researching a green way to reuse the material.