Tourament of Champions produces more failure than champions

Springfield, MO—Moral victories will be handed out this weekend at The Tournament of Champions as eight elite basketball teams battle it out to produce seven eventual short comers and one true champion.

TOC execs confessed that “Tournament of Champions” tends to have a more positive spin and sells more tickets than the more accurate named “Tournament of Moral Victories”.

“We invite elite teams from around the country to compete against each other to produce an eventual ‘champion’,” said TOC management. They continued by saying, “Winners are celebrated in American society, much as they were in Roman culture. We’re assembling performers to battle against each other in a huge arena seating thousands of spectators much in the same way gladiators were pitted against each other in the Coliseum, dueling until the end to produce an eventual champion.”

“All of these teams are champions in their own right. Whether they lose or win in this tournament, they can still go on to be champions in their own conference even if they are eliminated from the final game,” said one observer.

Tournament of Champion losers will be provided with a Tournament of Participation Award upon elimination.