City council approves loan to redevelop historic hot dog stand

Springfield MO- With some reservations about the plan, Springfield city council voted unanimously for a loan for the redevelopment plan for Calumet City, an abandoned Hot Dog Stand located in downtown Springfield behind the main post office.  The developer, Ken McCow has already received a $3 million dollar loan from the Missouri Development Board as well as a $50 million dollar loan from the federal Department of Housing and Urban Development.

Despite this financing McCow found himself $47.18 short to continue with the project.  Since the city council came through with the loan McCow promised to complete the the project on time and on budget.  “Without council’s backing on this, I don’t know what I would have done,” he stated.

Springfield Mayor Jim O’Neil said special tax districts will be created to help fund the loan.  “I know some people would prefer tax money not be used on this, we felt we had no choice because without the $47.18 the whole thing would shut down.  This is needed to boost the downtown and help the economy in general. The city cannot leave that building empty.  If this wasn’t going to happen we were going to have to tear it down thus losing a part of Springfield history.

FCN has learned that the city will pay half the amount of the loan which is $23.59 when the project is half way completed.  The remaining $23.59 will be paid when the project shows a 75% completion rate.  “This will make sure the developer follows through with renovation and won’t bail on us,” stated O’Neil.

According to McCow the old hot dog stand will now be home to a Kansas City Hereford Steak House, a professional roller derby ring, several upscale specialty shops and either another Ziggy’s or Braums Ice Cream location.  The roof will feature “green technology” and have a swimming pool and several hiking and biking trails.

Kathy Casher, a local banker called councils actions “creative and innovative”.  “This is not only a good investment for downtown, this is a guaranteed and secure loan for me.  I just wish council would find more of these old buildings to invest in,” she commented.

McCow had nothing but good things to say on how easy it was to get the paperwork done with the city.  “I couldn’t believe how simple it was.  I just pulled up to the front door and walked in.  In less than 10 minutes it was done and I left with cash in my pocket.  The best part was I got to keep my car!”

Hobo's Tower resident prepares to steal HUD loan applications

Springfield, MO—The Heer’s Tower was dealt another setback this week as developer Kevin McGowan failed to meet a critical deadline risking the possibility that development of the historic building will not occur before the end of the world in 2012.

After several deadline extensions, McGowan’s company, Blue Urban, failed to meet another chance for an $11.8 million federal loan guarantee from The Department of Housing and Urban Development.

Critics claim that McGowen is delaying the project intentionally due to the looming end of the Mayan Calendar and the coming end of the world as it currently exists. Representatives for Blue Urban deny that this is the true motivation yet, several Nostradamus books have been checked to employees from the firm at a Kansas City library.

“I guess if I knew Earth was going to implode in a couple of years I wouldn’t want to put a lot of effort into making an old building beautiful. Talk about wasting your precious time on this world,” said local Springfieldian Louis Fern.

Several hobos, rogues and vagabonds were thrilled to hear that the tower will not soon see development. “The quicker theys start working on Heer’s, the quicker I get kicked outta Hobo’s Tower,” said Red “Goldwing” Docker who sleeps on the second floor of the building and runs the escalators for exercise when not huffing gasoline from a sock.

Transients have long been suspected of mail fraud in the past as pieces of HUD loan applications have been found in the square scattered by the swirling winds and burning in trash barrels. “If the hobos that live in the tower are indeed intercepting the paperwork to thwart the process of development so they can continue to live there, well kudos to their ingenuity,” said Joey Hershey, an out-of-work rickshaw-bike driver.

“Once the electro magnetic field of Earth disintegrates in 2012 and the Sun’s ultraviolet rays are allowed to destroy everything above ground, well then we’ll see who’s got the upper hand,” said Docker as he chased a double-super buzz.