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Alien Rulers Developed by McKesson

Springfield, MO – The local division of McKesson has received high praise from the UFO Scientific Society for developing a ruler specifically calibrated to accurately measure alien corpses in standard measurement units. The latest example was on display last year when McKesson Alien Measurement tools were used to calculate the approximate size of a foreign […]

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MSU Receives TWI Alien Message On Lawn Art

Springfield, MO—MSU students received a message from aliens from the Altair solar system last night while hanging out at the giant space discs located at Grand and National Street. According to reports, the students were relaxing on what they considered works of art when they reportedly received thirteen 71 x 71 pixel images that included […]

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Predator World Adds the “Predator”

Branson West, MO—Predator World owners plan to reopen the facility with one new attraction in January. The new attraction will feature an unknown extraterrestrial species, referred only to as the Predator. “What we do know is that the new attraction is a large, sapient and sentient humanoid creature who may or may not possess advanced […]

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Government Official Confirms Alien Cover-Up In Missouri

Cape Girardeau, MO—Since 1941 government officials have successfully concealed an alien crash landing in the Ozarks. The activities and actions that spring night helped shape the response to the Roswell, NM cover-up six years later in 1947. “Really, we couldn’t have asked for a better ‘dress rehearsal’ than the crash cover-up in Southeast Missouri,” said […]