All Entries Tagged With: "Australia"
Rogue Cow Tippers Accused of Overturning Truck
Springfield, MO- Traffic was at a stand still when a truck filled with 70 head of cattle was overturned on US Highway 60. Although the incident has been ruled accidental, many authorities believe it was the handy work of over zealous cow tippers. “Cow tipping has been escalating for some time now,” said Detective Randals […]
Lebanon School District Administrators Placed in Trailers
Lebanon, MO – Parents of special education students were pleased to learn that Lebanon School District administrators were recently placed in an un-air-conditioned trailer behind the school’s campus until they can come up with a plan to properly integrate their children and reverse the segregating their loved ones have been exposed to from the rest […]
Spring Wakens Famous Ozark Spotted Terror-weevil
Springfield, MO- With warmer weather and brighter skies Ozarkians are looking forward to baseball, picnics, and the awakening of the spotted Terror-weevil. The Terror-weevil can only be seen in the months of March and April where it emerges from deep underground caverns. This emergence (called the Terror Bloom by 1800’s Hill folk) is a rare […]
Businessman Offers to Not Develop Heer’s Building for Fifty Dollars
Springfield, MO—Local maverick businessman, Sonny Pomade, showed up at Monday night’s Springfield City Council meeting and offered to not develop the controversial Heer’s Building for a mere fifty dollars. “I just felt it was my duty to take the burden of not moving forward with the renovation on my own shoulders,” Pomade commented, as he […]
Man Seen Walking on Sunshine
Springfield, MO—Local man, Jerry Wades, was recently seen walking on Sunshine this week. Reports suggest that he wasn’t fully aware of his situation or the irony of his chosen mode of transportation. According to his good friend, Nora Billows, Wades had just received word that he was to receive a promotion at work and was […]
Local Man Offers City $3 For Vacant Lot
Springfield, MO – Floyd Harvill is making the City of Springfield an offer that he claims would be “irresponsible to refuse.” With the City recently taking back the much-hyped vacant lot after negotiations with local hotelier Johnny Q. Hammons failed, Harvill thought it was a good time to act. “Fortune favors the bold, and lightning […]
Woman Can’t Tell Difference Between Dora, Kai-Lan
Springfield, MO—Local grandmother Ellen Younger frustrated last minute shoppers as she blocked an isle at the Walmart Independence location trying to decipher if the toy she was holding was Dora or Kai-Lan. “Now this must be Dora,” she said holding a Kai-Lan doll. Her shopping partner Nola Rigsby concurred, then retracted her judgment saying, “well, […]
