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Rain Dance Flub

BeeBe,  AR. – News of the estimated 1,000 dead black birds that seemed to rain from the sky last Friday in nearby Arkansas has authorities and locals stumped as to the cause of this strange event – until now. Local medicine man of the Quapaw Ouachita Mountain Indian Reservation has came forward and confessed that […]

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Nixa Hellhound Tracked to Camp Winoka

Springfield, MO—Paul the Nixa Hellhound has been seen bathing in the springs at Winoka Lodge, better known as Camp Winoka. The camp has been closed after rumors spread that several girl scouts were brutally murdered, however, conspiracy theorists claim the story was fabricated to protect the Nixa Hellhound habitat after it claimed the area as […]

Louie the Mascot Ponders Relationship Status

Springfield, MO—Moments after the bride and groom exchanged vows on the diamond at Hammons Field Saturday, Louie the mascot began contemplating his own relationship status. Having been on the road now for 5 years, Louie has shown signs that settling down may be in his future. “I remember when we, ‘big’ Cards, came to town […]