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That Guy From Coldplay Becomes Interim Head Baseball Coach for SBU

BOLIVAR, MO – Word has recently come out that Chris Martin is Southwest Baptist University’s head baseball coach–as in the lead singer for Coldplay. Coldplay, the popular British alt-rock band is on a temporary hiatus, in spite of their continued success, so that Martin can coach at the Bolivar college. “Coldplay will be reluctantly taking […]

Bluegrass Feud Claims Another Victim

Missouri and Kentucky bluegrass performers clash, leading to more violence. Bolivar—Around 8 pm yesterday unknown assailants drove pick-up trucks past Hank “Flash-Fingers” Wallace’s cabin and pelted it, and him, with dead opossums. Hank, known as “Flash-Fingers” due to his fast banjo picking digits, was a notable player in Missouri-style bluegrass—he was a perfect target. He […]