All Entries Tagged With: "Child"
Irresponsible Parents Flock to Parks Department’s Parents Night Out Program
Springfield, MO – The Parks Department has been flooded with request from irresponsible parents looking to drop their children off at the next event. Most inquires have consisted of calls from moms and dads who are seeking legal separation from their children that are imposing upon their lifestyles. “If you could…um…y’know take my kid for […]
Parents Rejoice After Dropping School Kids Off
Springfield, MO – The first day of school signals the beginning of individual freedoms for thousands of Ozarks parents across the city. August 15 brings absolute independence from 9-3 Monday – Friday and many parents are eager to taste the sweet liberty that secondary education offers. “F’ yeah – let’s all go to White Water, […]
Bullies Look Forward To Start of School Year
Springfield, MO- Numerous bullies around the Springfield area are very excited to start the new school year. During the summer the bullies have had to make do with harassing neighborhood kids, small animals, siblings, weak step-parents, and cabbage patch dolls. But, now with school starting the bullies can really hone their craft and perfect […]
Ribbon Cutting Turns Ugly at New School
Springfield, MO—A planned celebration took a turn for the worse today as several children’s hair bows were snipped during the Hickory Hills ribbon cutting ceremony. The planned activities called for school district leaders to cut a gigantic blue ribbon to celebrate the LEED certified educational facility, unfortunately, several children were chased by parents and teachers […]
Obama Speech Warps Kids’ Minds to Think Independently
Springfield, MO—After hearing President Obama’s speech today, Ozarks children’s minds were warped to the point of thinking independently. The speech has caused a buzz around the area as some parents said they worried that the president is seeking to deliver a political message to young people so that their brainwashing efforts might be thwarted. Local […]
