All Entries Tagged With: "Dance"
Ferguson Flash Mob Dance Cancelled
Ferguson, MO – Organizers of a charitable flash mob have cancelled plans for the event which was to be held this Saturday. The group was planning to assemble suddenly in a public place near downtown Ferguson to perform an interpretive dance to “Call Me Maybe” in order to bring attention to a nearby charity. “We […]
Person Dancing to “Happy” Angers Drivers
Springfield, MO – Several motorists driving south on Glenstone reportedly witnessed one horrifying act after another, as the driver of a sub-compact car sang and danced to Pharrell Williams hit song “Happy”. Reports included displays of awkward dance moves including a shoulder hunch, random rapid finger points and multiple waves at other drivers. “What was […]
Centerfold Strip Club Opens “Fishing Pond” For Ultimate Man Experience
Springfield, MO- With Centerfold Strip Club already offering steak, suds, and strippers, the business recently added one more manly endeavor to the mix: fishing. A domed complex was added behind the main dance floor so patrons can calming fish while watching fine ladies dance to their pleasure. “We are going to offer numerous packages,” states […]
Corsages, Hair Spray, and Gun Polish Sales Are At An All Time High Due to Prom Season
Springfield, MO- The Springfield economy has gotten a boost thanks to prom season. Corsages, hair spray, and gun polish sales are at a record high thanks to the teenage rite of passage. Punch, tuxedoes, limousines, and mace are also in high demand. “It makes me so sad my little girl is growing up,” states […]
Pole Dance Workout Offered at Pony Club
Springfield, MO—The Pony Club, a local gentlemen’s club, is offering pole-dancing workouts during the day in an attempt to reach a new crowd of local health-seeking patrons. The classes will be offered during the club’s off hours, at 8, 9 and 10 am Monday through Friday. “We thought we could capitalize on our empty […]
TSA Implements Hokey Pokey At SGF Airport
Springfield, MO— The head of the Transportation Security Administration said Sunday that he would try to make airport screening “as minimally invasive as possible,” and introduced a new screening procedure that includes dancing the “Hokey Pokey” which will replace aggressive pat-downs that have rankled passengers and lawmakers. As the busy travel season approaches, TSA agents […]
Mannish Hula Dancer Lures Unsuspecting Customers
Springfield, MO—For 24 years, a local frozen treat wagon has employed a hauntingly mannish hula dancer, with enchanting dance moves and gyrations, to lure passing drivers to stop and purchase “whips” to nosh upon after the distracted drivers wreck their vehicles. According to lore, the dancing hula man-thing has distracted thousand of drivers to the […]
Ozarkers do the Artsfest Shuffle
Springfield, MO—Thousands of Artsfest attendees participated in the Artsfest Shuffle this past weekend, moving their feet at half the speed of normal pace. Slow walking and sidestepping were the main dance moves of choice among the herd of people who strolled Walnut Street. “I’d always heard Artsfest was so crowded that you had to do […]
Dancing, Singing Scam Artists Threaten Homeowners
Springfield, MO—Citizens are being warned of scam artists posing as chimney sweeps this fall. Homeowners should be particularly warey of groups of chimney sweeps who travel the country singing catchy tunes while performing choreographed dance routines. Said one would-be victim Seth Goldrun, “I invited a man named Bert into my house who offered to sweep […]
Artsfest Inspires Precipitation
Springfield—Walnut Street swelled with crowds ready to browse the art filled curbs intent to celebrate spring this past weekend. Tents filled with crafts, paintings and foods align annually at this time of the year to form Artsfest. Unbeknownst to the casual observer, this ritual triggers a predictable climactic change known as “rain”. World-renowned climatologist Dr. […]
