All Entries Tagged With: "Drink"
MAN VISITS OZARK EMPIRE FAIR TO RAISE SELF ESTEEM
Springfield, MO — During the summer, locals visit the Ozark Empire Fair for a variety of reasons–to ride rides, watch concerts, or just to enjoy the classy Northside atmosphere. However, one Springfield resident found his own reason to visit the Fairgrounds this week. “I just needed an ego boost,” said Walt Richie, “I figured doing […]
Freistatt Distributes Beer to Prevent Grass Fires
FREISTATT, Mo. – The village of Freistatt is announcing a unique measure to help its own citizens prevent grass fires. The village will provide beer saved from last years’ Ernte-Fest to anyone living within a three-mile radius of Freistatt that has access to their own 3,000 to 5,000-gallon portable beer tank. Officials stress the beer […]
Backwoods Hillbillies Enjoy Classy Moonshine Tasting
Springfield, MO- When the sunset light lingers and the fireflies brighten the twilight sky, the noble Ozarkian Hillbilly (heartier and more dark-haired than their Appalachian cousins) gather to jig, laugh, and taste nature’s sweetest elixir: moonshine. Every summer, eight of the greatest Hillbilly clans meet to share their finest alcoholic concoctions. “Hmm, yes,” says […]
Beer Tank Swim at Brew Co!
Springfield, MO – To celebrate beer, the Springfield Brewing Company is selling raffle tickets for a 15-minute swim in their beer tanks this week. The tickets are prices at $40 and all proceeds go toward the “Help a White Man Dance” foundation. Participants are excited at the opportunity to actually swim in beer. “Hellz yez, […]
Brew Co. won over Quarters, Flip Cup Games
Springfield, MO – The new ownership group of the Springfield Brewing Company won the right to purchase the establishment from The Paul Mueller Company after winning a series of drinking games, most notably: quarters and flip cups. Head brewer for the Brew Co said, “We just happened to have the right people in the room. […]
Cider Days Enjoys Beautiful Weather; Artsfest Cursed
Springfield, MO—The Cider Days Festival enjoyed beautiful weather much to the dismay of Artsfest organizers this past weekend. Artsfest, which usually occurs on a rainy weekend has longed for a weekend such as this for their event to bask in. “I’m happy for Cider Days,” said an Artsfest committee member though clenched teeth. “I just […]
Dickens Cider Comes To Friday Farmer’s Market
Springfield, MO—Rumor has it that the Friday Farmer’s Market in downtown Springfield is about to get bigger and tastier with addition of a legendary local favorite — Dickens Cider. The Dickens Cider family recipe has been handed down for generations and has recently gained popularity with locals for its apparent health benefit. Speaking on condition […]
Obama Beer Summit for O’Neal, Hornaday
Springfield, MO— In an attempt to calm city tensions, President Obama has invited Mayor Jim O’Neal and retiree Jim Hornaday to a beer summit held at the Springfield Brewing Company. A local debate on city spending occurred after O’Neal and Hornaday exchanged heated emails. Hornady inquired how “our new Mayor would…steam out the wrinkles” in […]
