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Woman Blows Pants Off at Chili Cook-Off

Springfield, MO – Hundreds of eyewitnesses gave firsthand accounts of a woman who had flatuleted her own pants away at the 32nd Sertoma Chili Cook-Off. Spectators suggest she consumed too much chili for her own good very early in the day and all the beans caught up to her in the end. “I….I was standing […]

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Sertoma Cook-Off Tsunami Fart Cloud Warning Issued

Springfield, MO – The National Weather Service of Warning Alerts has issued a level 5 red-hot stinky Fart Cloud Warning effective immediately. The coming Sertoma Chili Cook-off is planned for this weekend and all area citizens are encouraged to take immediate cover to prevent exposure to the terrible anus-produced cloud that is anticipated after the […]

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Chili Cook-off Releases Giant Fart-Plagues City

Springfield, MO—A grotesque stench filled the Ozarks after the 29th annual Sertoma Club’s chili cook-off propelled a great brown cloud of turd-flavored air into the atmosphere. The Springfield Expo Center was exposed to the most foul and most expected form of gaseous discharge as dozens of local vendors gathered together to prepare gastro-igniting chili dishes […]