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Goths Reintroduced to Downtown Square

  Springfield, MO – The Missouri Department of Conservation has successfully baited and trapped 49 goths for reintroduction to their natural habitat on the downtown square. The goth population was temporarily removed while their homeland was undergoing improvements. According to reports, the department will test the goths for a series of diseases before the can […]

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Springfield Initiates Goth Relocation Program

Springfield, MO – Under the guise of center city beautification, the city of Springfield quietly began the first phase of it’s long term plan to eradicate downtown undesirables. The square has been fenced off and bulldozers have started to rip up sidewalks, steps and benches once perched upon by the city’s indigenous Goth and Vampire […]