All Entries Tagged With: "Government"
Local High School Student Thinks Sarah Palin is “way cool.”
by Staciey Johnson On Wednesday, Sarah Palin is coming to town and I think that is, like, way cool. I mean, there is totally nothing to do in this town and it is so freaking boring! Like, since minors can’t get into freaking anywhere downtown, this is the only exciting thing a teen can go [...]
Government Official Confirms Alien Cover-Up In Missouri
Cape Girardeau, MO—Since 1941 government officials have successfully concealed an alien crash landing in the Ozarks. The activities and actions that spring night helped shape the response to the Roswell, NM cover-up six years later in 1947. “Really, we couldn’t have asked for a better ‘dress rehearsal’ than the crash cover-up in Southeast Missouri,” said [...]
One Arrest During 700-Person Brawl
Springfield, MO—It took nearly 50 police officers to settle a brawl involving hundreds of people in downtown Springfield this past weekend leading to one arrest and one pissed police chief. According to the Springfield Police Department the incident began at about 12:45 a.m. with a fight among a large group of people inside Remmingtons Downtown. [...]
McCaskill To Be Burned At The Stake
Springfield MO- Claire McCaskill, a Democratic senator representing Missouri, is set to be burned at the stake in her next scheduled town hall meeting. The town hall meeting will be held at Missouri State University in Strong Hall room 100 and all are welcomed to attend. After initial questioning, mostly focusing on President Obama‘s health [...]
Borat Busts Branson Slave Trade
According to the U.S. attorney for the Western District of Missouri, a federal indictment in Kansas City claims defendants used false information to obtain fake work visas for foreign workers, who were then threatened with deportation while living in substandard apartments and working for inadequate pay. “High five!” said international reporter Borat Sagdiyev, after he [...]
City Council Seat Filled by Malph Ranley
Springfield—Mayor Jim O’Neal announced yesterday that a replacement has been selected for the City Council Zone 3 seat vacated earlier this month. “It is my pleasure to announce our newest Councilman Mr. Malph Ranley,” said O’Neal, “Mr. Ranley is a longtime volunteer, a civic leader who will be known for his enthusiasm for the city [...]
