All Entries Tagged With: "Kansas City"
Royals Win; Hell Drops to 60 Degrees
Springfield, MO – According to statisticians, the core temperature of hell has dropped significantly but not quite to freezing temperatures as the Kansas City Royals advance to the World Series, an event they haven’t participated in for over 29 years. “In honor of George Brett, I’m going to cover myself in pine tar and run […]
KC Chimps Escape Highway Shooter
Kansas City, MO – Seven chimpanzees attempted to escape the area to avoid random shootings that have been plaguing the area for several weeks. The chimps successfully used a tree limp to escape the Kansas City Zoo, but were apprehended with food and the promise of improved security. “The chimps have a valid point. I […]
2012, Hobos Delay Heer’s Tower Development
Springfield, MO—The Heer’s Tower was dealt another setback this week as developer Kevin McGowan failed to meet a critical deadline risking the possibility that development of the historic building will not occur before the end of the world in 2012. After several deadline extensions, McGowan’s company, Blue Urban, failed to meet another chance for an […]
Borat Busts Branson Slave Trade
According to the U.S. attorney for the Western District of Missouri, a federal indictment in Kansas City claims defendants used false information to obtain fake work visas for foreign workers, who were then threatened with deportation while living in substandard apartments and working for inadequate pay. “High five!” said international reporter Borat Sagdiyev, after he […]
Downtown Theater To Shoot Developer in Other Leg
Springfield—Six months after it opened, a legal storm is brewing over downtown Springfield‘s 14-screen movie theater. Hollywood Theaters Inc., which operates Hollywood Theaters College Station Stadium 14, is suing its landlord, alleging it’s owed nearly $900,000 by College Station LLC and is being overcharged for monthly rent and currently plans to shoot local developer Scott […]
