All Entries Tagged With: "Kids and Teens"
Wednesday Weather Chart = Trippy Forecast
Springfield, MO—A local newsman blew several viewers minds by showing a radar screen filled with psychedelic images symbolizing Wednesday’s weather patterns. Cries of “whoa”, “maaaaan” and “dude” were heard in living rooms across the Ozarks. One viewer, Moonbeam Johnston said, “I saw like a beautiful unicorn soar across the sky during the weather report and […]
KSPR Threat Meter to add Meth Lab Neighbor and Overzealous Sexual Offender
Springfield, MO—With the recent onslaught of treacherous winter weather, KSPR has introduced the Threat Meter to help Ozarkers understand the most likely means by which they will die in the near future. Over the past several weeks, the meter has gained popularity by including threats such as “snow,” “ice,” “wind,” and “cold.” However, these threats […]
Local Bums Ride Train Posing As Santa
Branson, MO— The Branson Scenic Railway’s Polar Express has become overrun with hobos and train jumpers claiming to be Saint Nick. Unsavory transients have flocked to the inaugural officially licensed train ride event near the Branson Landing due to the ease of hitching a ride. “Sure we just go ‘round and come back, but it […]
Knievel to Perform “James River” Jump at First Night Springfield
Springfield, MO—Ramp construction at Hwy 65 and James River Freeway is nearing the final stages for the Robbie Knievel “James River” jump on December 31st. First Night Springfield organizers are excited to announce that the daredevil has visited the site numerous times to inspect the progress and take measurements prior to his record-breaking jump in […]
Nixa Hellhound Tracked to Camp Winoka
Springfield, MO—Paul the Nixa Hellhound has been seen bathing in the springs at Winoka Lodge, better known as Camp Winoka. The camp has been closed after rumors spread that several girl scouts were brutally murdered, however, conspiracy theorists claim the story was fabricated to protect the Nixa Hellhound habitat after it claimed the area as […]
