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Federal Government Allots Missouri Farm Land for “Sea Monkey Reserve”

  Cape Girardeau, MO- The federal government allotted 130,000 acres of Missouri farm land to be transformed to a sea monkey reserve. This week, the Army Corps of Engineers blew a hole in the nearby levee, flooding thousands of acres of useless farmland to make a perfect habitat for oceanus monkius (commonly known as the […]

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Osama Sushi Roll Unveiled in Ozarks

  Springfield, MO—Local sushi hotspot Komodo Dragon has unveiled it’s latest creation: the roll they are calling the “NoMoOsama Roll”. Made up of roasted goat, a dash of crude oil and just a hint of spent ammunition, the NoMoOsama is a hit with local patrons who wish to celebrate the demise of Public Enemy Numero […]