All Entries Tagged With: "Parking lot"
Start-Button Black Hole Discovered In Parking Lot
Springfield, MO – Hundreds of start-button automobile owners are falling victim to the electronic black hole situated miles beneath the parking lot at James River Town Center, a shopping destination on East Independence Street. “We pulled in, parked and shopped at Kohl’s for about 40 minutes. When we came out our new car wouldn’t start. […]
Area Conservative Mothers Have “Fifty Shades of Gray” Book Burning…Almost
Springfield, MO- Book bans and burnings are not unusual occurrences in the Bible Belt, so it is so surprised that the racy “mommy porn” novel “Fifty Shades of Gray” was set in the sights of numerous area conservatives. The burning was set to take place in the parking lot of Hilldale Church on June 18th, […]
Church Traffic Is Parking Lot Purgatory
Springfield, MO —After a wonderful church service preaching harmony and brotherhood, First & Harmony United Church members were hell bent on getting out of the parking lot. Cutting off Deacon Grover, Rebecca Shroud – the Children’s Music Minister – stealthily avoided a collision and exited onto Cherry Street, freed to meet her friends at lunch […]
Snowplow Driver Creates Snow Maze
Springfield, MO—Kyle Hertz, a local snowplow driver for the City of Springfield created the area’s coolest snow maze out of boredom yesterday in the Battlefield Mall parking lot. Hertz was credit with the artistic, mind-challenging creation after several hours of work and tedious snow plowing. According to sources, Hertz was seen plowing excess snow into […]
Original Spring Field Lost, Not Located
Springfield, MO—The spring that fed the field that Springfield was named after hasn’t been seen in several decades. In fact, most area town names now only have a vague symbolic relationship to the geographic area that once featured prominent landmarks. Springfield History Museum Executive Director said, “there’s no ‘spring’ or ‘field’ in Springfield much like […]
Rollergirl’s Splash N’ Bash Fundraiser Turns Violent, Which is Cool
Springfield, MO—This coming weekend Springfield Rollergirls will host the annual Splash N’ Bash event on Saturday Aug 15th at 7pm. The Splash N’ Bash is a fundraising event where local automobile drivers can donate money and have their car washed by real Rollergirls. Drivers can also donate money and have a Rollergirl beat them into […]
