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Parents Increase Candy Tax This Halloween

Springfield, MO – Local parents have increased the cost of chaperoning their children during the candy gathering season known colloquially as Halloween.  The parental imposed Candy Tax has held steady over the past decade, but saw an increase after weak job growth and economic instability this year. “We just can’t afford to purchase as much […]

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Criminals Anxiously Await Night Out Celebrations

Springfield, MO – Thousands of local citizens will gather in public places to heighten crime prevention awareness, strengthen neighborhood spirit and police-community partnerships, and generate support for participation in local anticrime programs…while criminals ransack their unoccupied homes. “This is seriously, like the best thing to ever happen to us,” said criminal Bluto Snatchnsuck, “I’m planning […]