All Entries Tagged With: "Religion and Spirituality"
Baptist vs. Buddhist Biker
Springfield, MO- A member of the Buddhist faith was tested yesterday as a gigantic Christian cross was hurled at him while biking near First Baptist Church on South Street. “Ohm….mmmmmmmmmm…O’my GOD!” screamed bicyclist Bud Alstum as he narrowly escaped the clanging carrier of Christian sin when it struck the street behind him. According to witnesses, […]
Easter Bunny To Earth’s Children: Stop Stealing my Eggs
Springfield, MO- In a press conference yesterday the Easter Bunny gave a desperate plea to the children of the earth: leave my eggs alone. During the conference he stated how every year he purposely hides his eggs so they can hatch and grow up to be healthy bunnies. “I know you might not know the […]
Meat Locker Yoga Classes Begin in Ozarks
Springfield, MO – Yoga aficionados across the globe are looking to Southwest Missouri for a new form of inspirational stretching while being subjected to cold, freezing conditions known as Frozen Yoga. “I’ve never seen anything like it, very inspiring,” said highly respected yoga master B.K.S. Iyengar from his home in India. “Frozen Yoga is a […]
Retired Playboy Bunnies Arrive for Easter Weekend
Springfield, MO—Retired Playboy Bunnies sprung up this morning across Springfield’s major intersections. The aged gals wore traditional Easter Bunny costumes announcing that the Holy Day was coming as if it were the end of the world. Most passerby’s simply honked in appreciation. One thoroughly surprised traveler was shocked when he stopped his car and […]
Springfield Library Features Burning Books Display
Springfield, MO—The Springfield-Greene County Library District will unveil new burning books displays this week at its six campuses. A prominent endcap will be constructed in each location that will house several books set on fire in an attempt to educate the public on past book burnings. The burning of books has a long history as […]
Lady Gaga To Headline Annual I Love America Celebration
Springfield, MO – James River Assembly stunned local church watchers today announcing Lady Gaga as the headliner for next years’ I Love America annual celebration. A volunteer spokesperson for the Super-Center sized church said, “Lady Gaga was snatched from the jaws of drug addition by her dearly beloved dead Aunt Joanne and she has a […]
ROTFLMAO Laughing Yoga Studio Opens Soon
Springfield, MO—Laughter yoga classes will be offered next month at ROTFLMAO located in the Glen Isle Shopping Plaza on South Glenstone avenue. Laughter yoga or laughter therapy promises to relieve stress and strengthen the immune system through strange body movements and hysterical fake laughing. Combining the art of yoga with the element of laughter is […]
May Horoscopes
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McGregor Students Find Where The Sidewalk Ends
Springfield, MO—Local students found that there is a place where the sidewalk ends, before the street begins and near where the grass grows soft and white, where a huge truck must have traversed the walk where they were consumed in plain sight. One McGregor student victim said, “Let us leave this place where the concrete […]
January Horoscopes
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Emoticons Break Harsh Reality of Fortune Cookie Messages
Ozark, MO—A local Chinese restaurant is using emoticons to break unfortunate fortune cookie messages to customers. Several diners at the River Dragon on Highway 14 in Ozark were introduced to the new after dinner traditional snack and had mixed emotions. “’:) You make a bad day worse :)’ was my awful message when I cracked […]
Holy Spirit Guides Drunk Home on Christmas
Springfield, MO—Local business man George Humphrey claims the Holy Spirit guided him home after an hours long drinking binge this past Christmas. “It was a miracle that I made it the 30 miles home, I was slamming beers, ripping shots and poppin’ pills like Amy Winehouse. Fortunately, sweet Jesus took the wheel when I headed […]
OM_! Skepticon is This Weekend!
Springfield, MO— Local atheists are considering coming together for an annual gathering but are not sure to trust in what the flyers and event announcements have been propagating. If enough people believe that the event will actually take place, it could be the largest gathering of atheists in the Midwest right here in Springfield. The […]
