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Walmart Eyes Heer’s Building for WalTower

Springfield, MO – Following a legal battle over the near-downtown location of a proposed Walmart Neighborhood store at Grand and Campbell, Walmart officials are now targeting expansion into the historic Heer’s Building on the square. “The building has seen several attempts at development. We are proposing the world’s first multi-story Walmart facility. The high-rise Walmart […]

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Goths Reintroduced to Downtown Square

  Springfield, MO – The Missouri Department of Conservation has successfully baited and trapped 49 goths for reintroduction to their natural habitat on the downtown square. The goth population was temporarily removed while their homeland was undergoing improvements. According to reports, the department will test the goths for a series of diseases before the can […]

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Renovation Approved: Heer’s Boarded Up

Springfield, MO—After years of negotiating, the Heer’s department store building will finally receive the renovation it has been waiting for: a good boarding up. The new plans to board up the building will be the first improvement the property has seen since 1994. “The Heer’s building has been deteriorating for years. This boarding up is […]