All Entries Tagged With: "tornado"
Obama’s Unicorns to Clean Joplin
Joplin, MO—President Obama visited the tornado-ravaged, Jasper County town this week to offer handshakes, hugs and federal assistance in the form of his magical herd of unicorns. As the President spoke to a crowd of a few hundred people whimsical fairies flew from his coattails and spread pixie dust over those gathered. As the [...]
Tornado Warning Issued Until October
Springfield, MO—Local meteorologist have issued a tornado warning to last the entire spring and summer of 2011: experts expect the alert to expire sometime in early October. “The Ozarks are blessed with fantastic weather, we just have a small patch of time -7 months – when God’s finger can destroy your home, belongings and [...]
Ft. Wood Attacked by Mighty Black Tornado
Springfield, MO—Fort Leonard Wood was recently attacked by a mighty black tornado, ripping through soldier’s ranks like a tear in a lost lottery ticket. The force of nature completely dominated the most powerful military force on Earth with little regard for repercussions. Former President Bush said, “These tornadoes are devastating, when cold and warm air [...]
World Cup Interrupts Weather Report
Springfield, MO—A local ABC-affiliated television station attempted to broadcast a special weather report on Sunday, however, it was interrupted several times by the presentation of FIFA’s final game of the World Cup. Karl Hirky, a Springfield resident, who was tuned in at the time said, “I like watching the weather in Camdenton, MO so the [...]
Stone County Tornado Caller
Abesville, MO—Emergency management executives in Stone County will soon hire a Tornado Caller once the aging, expensive-to-maintain tornado/storm sirens are removed June 1st. The county says the existing sirens are too expensive to maintain and “having Ol’ Lou make the rounds in his pick ‘em up truck a hollerin’ a folks” will be much more [...]
Storm-crazed Meteorologists Track Weather
Local TV weather personalities lost their effin’ minds over last night’s exciting storms. Like green on a pickle, area weathermen and women were beside themselves with joy as they tracked potential deadly weather racing across the Ozarks. As ominous clouds gathered, KY3 reporters Ron Hearst, Dave Snider and Brandon Beck jumped into the air and [...]
