City Considers Urban Cockfighting to Boost Economy

Officials plan a cockfight exhibition at tonight's meeting

Springfield, MO—The city’s planning department is considering creation of an ordinance allowing Springfield residents to keep fighting roosters to boost the economy. Backyard gamecock ownership is a worldwide trend that the City plans to capitalize upon.  Citizens are invited to attend the American Gamefowl Society meeting to gather public comment on raising cocks tonight at 6pm in the auditorium of the City Utilities Training Center.

Local economist Hugh Kiffler said, “While cockfighting is considered a heinous blood sport by animal welfare and animal rights activists, due in some part to the physical trauma the cocks inflict on each other, advocates of the sport believe local economies could be boosted by the new revenue streams associated with gambling and gamecock farming.”

Researchers have concluded that a few gamecocks wouldn’t be much different from someone keeping the maximum of four pit bulls or flea-bitten cats per meth household. Cockpit rings will have requirements on materials used for rings and the structure’s design.

“I plan to show my support for the cockamamie idea by wearing spurs to the meeting tonight,” said a large anthropomorphized adult rooster with a strong “good ol’ boy” Kentucky accent “That’s a joke… I say, that’s a joke, son.”

The proposal would require people who want to keep gamecocks to make a low-cost application to the city. In related less boring news, the City is also considering an ordinance allowing chicken farming for city dwellers.

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