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RSSAll Entries Tagged With: "Ozarks"

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Germans Deny SBC Märzen Gold World Beer Cup Win

Springfield, MO – Following an unprecedented victory in Denver, Colorado where the Springfield Brewing Company took the International Gold World Beer Cup in the Märzen category over several rival brewers, German participants are officially denying any such victory ever happened. The Springfield Brewing Company team went up against storied breweries who have a combined brewing […]

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Mike the Intern

May is here. Finals are coming up, the kids are getting ready to get out of school and you are wondering why in the hell you don’t get a summer vacation like everyone else. Well you might not get a vaca but I can help you start one hell of a summer soundtrack. Bryan Adams […]

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“Dot Com Parking” Now Available For Some Reason

Springfield, MO – The local Home Depot store has introduced a prestigious parking spot on their lot labeled “Dot Com Parking” displayed on an old piece of wood stuck in a bucket. Several questions arose around the newly christened piece of pavement none of which were more pressing than ‘what does one do in Dot […]

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Colored Egg Rolls Highlight SGF Cashew Chicken Heritage

Springfield, MO – In an attempt to shine a light on a native cuisine, Springfield residents are coloring Easter egg rolls this month in honor of the Cashew Chicken dish created in this city. The Easter egg rolls are dyed multiple colors to resemble the more traditional Easter Egg. An Easter Egg Roll Hunt is […]

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Crossfit…

Well, I have been gone for a while but I’m back.  I have been training for the upcoming summer season.  Its that time of year in which you have to get ready for the lake or pool and you want to appear fit.  There are a number of ways to do so as we are […]

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Caged People Fed By Animals

Strafford, MO – Organizers at Wild Animal Safari have announced a new tour that encourages patrons to sit in a cage and be fed by the wild animals on site. The change is in response to the USDA ruling that visitors to the park may no longer fed animals from their vehicles. “We strive to […]

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KC Chimps Escape Highway Shooter

Kansas City, MO – Seven chimpanzees attempted to escape the area to avoid random shootings that have been plaguing the area for several weeks. The chimps successfully used a tree limp to escape the Kansas City Zoo, but were apprehended with food and the promise of improved security. “The chimps have a valid point. I […]

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St. Louis Arch Adds McDonalds To Observatory

Springfield, MO – Local McDonald’s franchisee Dom Kittles announced that his company secured the rights to place a restaurant in the top of St. Louis’ Gateway Arch and plans to open this summer. The contract came as a surprise to Kittles who considered his business as a longshot for the opportunity. “The news was great, […]

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Diverging Diamond Necklace Unveiled at Justice Jewelers

Springfield, MO – Responding to consumers’ demand, and nodding to the unique traffic solutions employed around town, a local jeweler has recently unveiled the Diverging Diamond Necklace. The necklace pays homage to the diverging diamonds found in several Ozarks intersections. “We wanted to celebrate a traffic win for our area. We were the first to […]

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College Station Gravel Museum Celebrates Seven Year Anniversary

Springfield, MO – Touted as one of the premiere gravel museums in the world, College Station Gravel Museum in downtown Springfield, plans to celebrate tonight with an open house free to the public. “It’s hard to imagine that it has been seven years,” says curator, Scott Fillmen. “When we opened back in 2007 our goal […]

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LEGO® Releases Hammons Tower Set

Springfield, MO – Designed by a LEGO fan, the new LEGO Hammons Tower (77053) will be available for purchase this spring.  Creator Matt Plither, a Springfield native, submitted the design to LEGO CUUSOO, a site where LEGO designers can submit projects, gains supporters and receive royalties if a product concept is chosen for production. Plither’s […]

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On Campus Rule Prompts Drury-ville Camps, Lean-tos

Springfield, MO – Following news requiring most students to live on campus, several hooverville-esque tent camps have sprouted around the university grounds. Citing mounting debt concerns, hundreds of students are planning to tough it out on campus in makeshift shelters to abide with the new code. “I’m looking forward to the sense of community we […]

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Group Fart Propels SGF Into the Future

Springfield, MO – The entire population of our fair city was thrust forward into time this weekend after hundreds of people trouser coughed at once while at the 33rd Sertoma Chili Cook Off at the EXPO Center. The consolidated butt honk lurched the entire city into the future by 2.5 seconds. “It was very stange…one […]

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Blowing Wind Generates 10 Years of Energy During One Turbine Job

Springfield, MO – Capitalizing on intense wind speeds, one single wind turbine located off Highway 65 generated enough power to supply the city of Springfield for 10 years in just under one 12-hour shift. The wind gusts kept the fans spinning faster and longer than any previously recorded time in recorded history. “The wind turbine […]

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Ozarkers Brace for Warmer Weather

Springfield, MO – Local residents beaten down by the frozen temperatures are bracing themselves for absolutely gorgeous weather ahead. Shedding the heavy jackets is something that will be required as the mercury rises but many Ozarkers are resistant to the coming change. “My winter coat is so, so comfortable,” said Natalie Filuster, “I’m not sure […]