Archive for September, 2009
Line of Disappointed Public Transit Seekers at Trolley’s
Springfield, MO—Occasionally long lines of commuters seeking a ride through the city will form outside Trolley’s, a popular downtown Springfield restaurant. Last weekend more than 35 people assembled waiting to purchase a seat on Springfield’s Trolley. “The sign says ‘Trolley’s’ so there better be a dang ol’ electric powered car to haul my butt around,” […]
The Great Woody Justice Caper Attracts Muppets
Springfield, MO—A $10,000 Diamond ring has been hidden somewhere in town, prompting hordes of Muppets to descended upon the city to find the jewels and clear Mrs. Piggy’s name in the process. When reached for comment a manager at Justice Jewelers said they had no idea such a large number of animated puppets would take […]
One Arrest During 700-Person Brawl
Springfield, MO—It took nearly 50 police officers to settle a brawl involving hundreds of people in downtown Springfield this past weekend leading to one arrest and one pissed police chief. According to the Springfield Police Department the incident began at about 12:45 a.m. with a fight among a large group of people inside Remmingtons Downtown. […]
Stockton May Bring Back Police Force, Maybe
Stockton, MO—After seven years without a policing entity, Stockton may decide to bring back the boys in blue. Maybe. Perhaps. The city saves $26,000 a year by freeloading on law enforcement from Cedar County. Residents say they’d feel better if a police presence was felt within their community. Criminals say they’d feel better if the […]
Duracell Charges to Pension Rescue
Springfield, MO— Battery company Duracell calls Springfield one of the cities most likely to experience power outages in the nation. The company promises to provide battery power to Springfield and four other cities during a promotional campaign. From the press release, “With an average of 27 severe-threshold thunderstorms annually, Springfield has one of the highest […]
SGF Industrial Park Featured On New Quarter
JEFFERSON CITY, MO—Springfield, Missouri’s Partnership Industrial Center park will be featured on a quarter. The manufacturing park surrounding the 21 companies located on 360 acres of master-planned industrial park grounds will appear on quarters in 2017. It’s part of the U.S. Mint’s America the Beautiful quarters program that will feature 56 sites in all 50 […]
G-Team Van Spotted in Springfield
Springfield, MO—Protecting the innocent and shielding others from danger is the job of the G-Team. Fashioned after the original cast of military misfits that formed the A-Team—made popular by the 80’s television action show—the G-Team provides protection for Springfieldians but removed a few times from the original soldiers of fortune. “They’re the G-Team because they’re […]
This Year Nixa Sinkhole is Financial
For the third year in a row the Nixa area has been hit with a surprise sinkhole, although this year it is an altogether different kind. In the two previous years the ground caved in swallowing all the land and whatever happened to be built on top of it. This year the financial market caved […]
Cider Days’ Scarecrow Village Fight Over Brain
Springfield, MO—Cider Days marks the beginning of fall for most people living within the city limits. This weekend several thousand people will fill Walnut Street and greet the changing season with a cup of apple cider while taking in the arts and crafts native to the Ozarks area. Seldom few will notice the struggle for […]
Hot Chick at ICON Actually Waving to Guy Behind Local Dude
Springfield, MO—Jeremy Childress, local telemarketer, attended ICON Nightclub on Saturday night. Midway through the evening, a hot chick with awesome blonde hair and a short pink dress waved in Childress’ direction. Childress responded by slyly peeking behind him, then twice pointing a finger at his chest while mouthing, “Me?” Surprised, but assured that she was […]
Heer’s and Gillioz Buildings Sent to Remedial Spelling Classes
Springfield, MO—“It’s time we did something about it,” says Springfield Mayor Jim O’Neal. “We can’t continue to have these two institutions of Springfield telling children that you can get by without an education.” Beginning October 14th the Heer’s Building and Gillioz Theatre will attend Remedial Spelling and Society at nearby Bryan College. The six-week course […]
Missouri Economic Development Director Now Jobless
Jefferson City, MO— Linda Martinez has been laid off as Missouri‘s economic development director after only eight months on the job. She decided to lay herself off due to economic pressures and in an effort to reduce overhead on the Show-Me State. Martinez, the first woman to hold the position, told Governor Jay Nixon that […]
Medieval Times Find New Home In Classic Location
Springfield, MO—A taste of the Middle Ages is coming to the Ozarks, housed in a classic building with a long and storied past. In October, Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament will occupy the space formerly used by casual dining tenant Steak and Ale Restaurants. The parent company of Steak & Ale filed for chapter 7 […]
Riverside Inn to Reopen at Side of River
Ozark, MO—Riverside Inn, a staple of Ozark history known for Mary Ellen Marley’s fried chicken recipe and Finley River location, will soon be torn down and relocated to another river side location. Federal Emergency Management Agency granted Christian County a $1.17 million flood mitigation grant to buy — and demolish — the 86-year-old restaurant. “$1.17 […]
