All Entries in the "Opinion" Category
Sleep…
You get too much and you are groggy…you get too little and you are cranky. Sleeping seems like such a waste of time…most of us sleep 1/3 of our day away. Yet, we have this sort of love-hate relationship with sleep. Likely, we feel pretty good when we lay down and just a few hours [...]
20 Years…
The big reunion is coming up. The year was 1991 and other than the obvious 40lbs I have gained since my high school graduation, I look a lot like I did back in the day. Of course, things have changed a bit. I haven’t worn a turtle neck under a button down shirt in [...]
FCN Investigates: John’s Mr. Zippy’s Express Wash
The Fair City News Investigative Unit was first contacted by PETA when, by all appearances, a penguin was being forced to wash cars at the corner of Sunshine and Kansas Expressway. While the penguin was not immediately visible to patrons and “Mr. Zippy” appeared to only be a cute mascot, PETA was concerned that the [...]
We Are Free but We Are Fat
We are the fattest nation in the world…free, happy and proud…but fat. We actually have shows about it. These shows, in a way, glorify the “big people.” These shows take a bunch of fatties that have obviously been “living large” and now are crying about it…all the while, the skinny [bitchy] little trainers get off [...]
Halloween…
I love this time of year…the cool, crisp fall air, the turning of the leaves and, yes, the lone fall holiday…Halloween. Things have changed a bit over the years. This holiday used to be about hanging out with friends and eating candy. These days, it appears that the blood and guts has turned to whores [...]
Where are the drivers? A basic dissertation with basic motivation…
Dissertation: As I left my house early one Sunday morning, I drove by one of the many establishments of ill repute here in Springfield and, as usual, I saw a number of automobiles left behind. Remnants, no less, of a good time gone bad and a sign that there will be patrons coming back on [...]
The Fair…
Although I dread going, every year I find myself there…the fair. It is not a pleasant experience but yet somehow thousands of people flock to this virtual hell hole every year. They bring their friends, their neighbors, their livestock, their neighbors livestock and pretty much anyone who will come. The fair somehow supersedes reality by [...]
Frickin’ A…
As I go through life everyday…I live, I love, I work and I say Frickin’ A. Everyday, I see things that make me stop and say, “Frickin’ A.” For those who like to abbreviate, FA would be fine. Let me elaborate. When I am driving and let someone into traffic ahead of me and they [...]
Springfield…Big City?? I don’t think so…
Mike McMichealson Motivational Columnist/Speaker I went to a nice restaurant recently…that will remain unnamed…and it came to my attention that some people here in Springfield really think they are a “big deal.” Seriously, let me remind all of you, we are a far cry from the “big city” and in this Podunk town, there is [...]
The Next Generation…
Mike McMichealson Motivational Columnist/Speaker Ah yes, the Youth of America. Let’s consider what we have to look forward to shall we? Been to the DMV lately? Well, let’s just say those folks don’t look so bad compared to the tattoo ridden, lip-ring wearing counter clerk at my neighborhood Subway. I hate to generalize—I mean, I [...]
Being Right…All The Time!
Mike McMichealson Motivational Columnist/Speaker You know how sometimes you can’t get people to do what you want them to do. I tell people what to do for a living so hear me when I say….don’t take no for an answer. Motivation is ultimately born out of a willingness and eagerness to be a raging know-it-all [...]
Area Mob Boss Hit Hard By Recession
by Flattop Tony Polumbo Mom and pop businesses have been hit hard by our country’s recent economic downturn, but what about the world’s first mom and pop business, the Mafia? I know, many of you think that during a crisis, the mob is always there to make some money by scamming the local babbos. You [...]
Local High School Student Thinks Sarah Palin is “way cool.”
by Staciey Johnson On Wednesday, Sarah Palin is coming to town and I think that is, like, way cool. I mean, there is totally nothing to do in this town and it is so freaking boring! Like, since minors can’t get into freaking anywhere downtown, this is the only exciting thing a teen can go [...]
