All Entries in the "Entertainment" Category
Branson’s Carnie Tax Credit Attracts Circuses
Branson, MO—The City of Branson is starting to reap the benefits of the recent “Carnie” tax credit and designation of the Carnie Enterprise Zone (CEZ) in Taney County. These incentives have allowed businesses to take advantage of city tax credits and deductions not available to businesses elsewhere. Those who have recently benefitted from the CEZ [...]
Sufjan Stevens Writes “Missouri” Music Album
Springfield, MO – Indie-pop/folk musician Sufjan Stevens has announced that he is continuing his “50 States Project” with an upcoming concept album about the state of Missouri. In an attempt to write and release an album about each state, Stevens will follow his “Greetings from Michigan!” and “Come on Feel the Illinoise” albums with “Missouri [...]
Daly’s Pants Displayed at Murder Rock
Branson, MO – In honor of John Daly’s 6-under-par 66 in the first round of the Open Championship, his outrageous pants have been shipped directly to his Murder Rock Golf and Country Club in the Ozarks. Officially licensed replica trousers will be available for purchase in the coming weeks.
“When John christened Murder Rock playing shirtless, [...]
World Cup Interrupts Weather Report
Springfield, MO—A local ABC-affiliated television station attempted to broadcast a special weather report on Sunday, however, it was interrupted several times by the presentation of FIFA’s final game of the World Cup.
Karl Hirky, a Springfield resident, who was tuned in at the time said, “I like watching the weather in Camdenton, MO so the special [...]
Nelly Claims Grand Palace Too “Hot in Herre”
Branson, MO—Cornell Haynes, Jr., better known as Nelly, had planned to perform an outdoor concert in the Grand Palace parking lot August 21st before the City of Branson turned down a permit for the event. Having visited the Grand Palace, Nelly claimed the theatre was “getting hot in here” and preferred to have an outdoor [...]
Local Boyfriend’s Weekend Revolves Around Vampires
Springfield, MO- Tom Ragsdale’s, a local boyfriend to Jessica Swanson, entire weekend will be dedicated to the undead thanks to his girlfriend’s love affair with the blood drinkers. “Oh my gosh I am so excited. We are going to see Eclipse on Friday! We are even wearing matching T-Shirts,” exclaimed Jessica to her girlfriend over [...]
Hooligans at Gastropub Consume Packaged Foods
Springfield, MO—After watching Germany beat England, hooligans demonstrated their displeasure at Farmers Gastropub by consuming processed foods flown in from around the country. The pub opened early for World Cup fans and the owners had no idea that hooligans would disrupt the restaurant after such a poor showing among the English soccer team.
Said one owner, [...]
Raw Emotion Contained By Cubicle
Springfield, MO—Randy Hulstalk* successfully contained his raw emotion for the US National soccer team within his cubicle Wednesday. During the USA v. Algeria FIFA World Cup game, Hulstalk secretly streamed the match on his computer monitor, a major violation of company office policies. He successfully stifled his screams, shouting and even pumped his arms in [...]
Tiny Circuses Pop Up Around Town
Springfield, MO—A curious amount of small multi-colored tents have popped up around the Ozarks prompting much anticipation among citizens for the arrival of travelling companies filled with performers such as acrobats, clowns, trained animals, trapeze acts, musicians, hoopers, tightrope walkers, jugglers, unicyclists and other stunt-oriented artists.
“I can’t wait to see these little circuses. Or is [...]
Sumbitch Redneck Admits Soccer is “Entertaining”
Springfield, MO—Joe Marshall, local sumbitch redneck, admitted Saturday that watching the FIFA World Cup games were in fact “entertaining as greasin’ up a sow and sticking yams to her face.”
Marshall spent Saturday afternoon watching the United States National team battle it out on the pitch with great enthusiasm. “I wuz watching our boys rip up [...]
MSU Joins Big 12, Bolts for Pac-10
Springfield, MO—The changing landscape of college football has spawned another leap of leagues here in Southwest Missouri. On Friday, Missouri State University announced plans to withdraw from The Gateway Conference to accept a bid into the Big 12 conference. Officials announced the change to the Big 12 during a press conference then immediately followed up [...]
Snake Oil June
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Body Hair Competition This Weekend
Springfield, MO—The first ever Body Hair Competition will be held at Patton Alley Pub immediately after the first ever Springfield Beard and Moustache Competition at 6:30 pm, here in the Ozarks. The Body Hair Competition was created for contestants who are not equipped with enough facial hair to compete in the headlining event.
Body Hair contestants [...]
Uproar Over Take on Arthurian Legend at Gillioz Theatre
Springfield, MO—The Greene County chapter of Druids for Arthurian Accuracy and Pretend Sword Fighting have forced a local production/reworking of the Sword in the Stone tale to retitle and rewrite the play.
OTC, in conjunction with The Gillioz Theatre, was scheduled to present Misty Unger’s “Arthur’s Bedsores, Merlin’s Piles” Elder Neglect in Dark Age Nursing Homes, [...]
