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Springfield Springbreakers Hospitalized For Hyperthermia

Springfield, MO- Many MSU college students did not let the cold weather deter them from their Spring Break plans, unfortunately hyperthermia put a stop to numerous college style hijinks. A number of college students where admitted to the hospital after being exposed to freezing temperatures in hardly any clothing. “It is Spring Break, which means […]

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Southwest Lands in Southwest Land

Southwest Missouri – Southwest Airlines took another step towards providing service and dominating in all southwestern locations in the continental US by safely landing their Boeing 737 this week at Branson Airport. “It is our vision to be an airline provider to every corner of the world, especially those located within geographical proximity to where […]

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Doomsday Preppers Invade SGF RV Show

Springfield, MO- Last weekend the Springfield RV Megashow was a huge success for average RV connoisseurs, as well as, a huge influx of Doomsday preppers. Usually, the Megashow target audience includes older males seeking the comfort of home coupled with the adventure of the road, but once a group of preppers noticed the size and […]

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Silver Dollar City Plans Underground Railroad-themed Ride

BRANSON (MO) – Following this spring’s opening of “Outlaw Run,” a new wooden roller coaster, Silver Dollar City, the popular 1800’s-themed amusement park, will next open an “Underground Railroad-themed adventure ride.” “We’re all excited about ‘Outlaw Run,’ of course, but this new ride is going to be really make history,” commented Parker Amends, a spokesperson […]

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Pablo (Escobar/Picasso) Tunnel Discovered

Springfield, MO – A curious tunnel has been discovered at National and Sunset street, with a simple message painted on it “Pablo” leading skeptics to believe that Pablo Escobar once used the tunnel for trafficking narcotics or more over that Pablo Picasso hid revolutionary paintings along the route for safekeeping. “We know one thing, the […]

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Apple Maps Drive SGF to the Core of Frustration

Springfield, MO – Apple’s new iPhone mapping software has caused quite a few problems in Springfield, FCN has learned. “I spent 3 hours following my iPhone trying to find the corner of Glenstone and Campbell to find that damn Jack in the Box,” St Louis native Andrea Piacello said in disgust while eating tacos from […]

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First Man on Moon Aided by Steroids

Marshfield, MO – The United States Anti-Doping Agency, in an ever-continuing effort to aggressively attack all things Armstrong, has announced that according to the replica Hubble Telescope in Marshfield, Missouri – Neil Armstrong had once tested positive for anabolic steroids. Only weeks after the legendary astronaut and first man on the moon, died from complications […]

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Rogue Cow Tippers Accused of Overturning Truck

Springfield, MO- Traffic was at a stand still when a truck filled with 70 head of cattle was overturned on US Highway 60. Although the incident has been ruled accidental, many authorities believe it was the handy work of over zealous cow tippers. “Cow tipping has been escalating for some time now,” said Detective Randals […]

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Silver Dollar City Goes Through De-Monstering For Kids Festival

Branson, MO- With Silver Dollar City’s Kidsfest in full swing, many preparations are being made. Rides are being tested, candy is being cottonized, big name stars like “Backyardigans and Sponge Bob” are being catered with their every need, and monsters are being destroyed. “Kid’s safety is the number one priority here at Silver Dollar City […]

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Lake of the Ozarks Promise “Teenage Massacre Free” Lake Fun

Lake of the Ozarks- With warmer weather and freedom from school beckoning teenagers to engage in dangerous and promiscuous activities, Lake of the Ozarks is promising a summer free from teenage slaughter. The Tourism Board is offering various activities such as: SeaDo rentals, nature hikes, and not being stabbed or eaten by anything. Many are […]

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Springfield – Branson Airport Picks Up Branson to Springfield Flight

Springfield, MO – In an effort to cross-promote tourism in the area, the Springfield – Branson Airport has announced a new flight from Branson to Springfield and back. The short flight is anticipated to increase spending in the Ozarks by hundreds of dollars. “We expect that the crosstown traffic generated is going to allow more […]

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Canadian Students Go “South of Border” For Spring Break, End Up In Ozarks

Springfield, MO- Much like US college students go Mexico to celebrate drunken debauchery for their Spring Break, Canadian students go “south of the border” for their fun. Although many party-going Canadians go to wild and crazy cities such as Cincinnati, Ohio; Lincoln, Nebraska; and Des Moines, Iowa – many find themselves in the hedonistic hub […]

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Trip Good…Travel Bad…

Springfield, MO – I love vacation as much as the next person but the travel has simply become too much to take.  You might as well expect to get spitting angry somewhere between point A and point B.  One thing that might help is to know what you might expect from those you are traveling […]

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New Digital Road Signs Offer Vague Advice

  Springfield, MO – Distant and vague messages such as “Seatbelts Save Lives”, and “Speed Limit Enforced” have begun to appear on Springfield’s newest digital road signs begging the question: why?   Local motorist Luke Feelyajum said, “I thought the messages would be a bit more useful than what I’ve seen so far. Perhaps a […]

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CU Lands on Cloud City for Bus Hub

  Springfield, MO – Local City Utility officials have decided that the best option for building a new bus transfer station will be in the sky. Bus Cloud Station 14 will be built by 2014 and will hover above downtown Springfield, directly above the existing bus station. “It really is a great solution, we don’t […]