All Entries in the "Travel" Category
Icelandic Volcano Affects Ozarks
Springfield, MO—According to reports, Ozarkers have been severely affected by the volcanic eruption in Iceland. Several SGFers have claimed the eruption as a disruption in their daily lives.
“I was a model husband until that volacano erupted, since then I’ve had three mistrissess and my infidelity sees no end,” said Robert Geohorn. “My fried chicken never [...]
Nonstop Flights Hold Passengers Captive
Branson, MO—Branson Airport has added two new nonstop flights that never stop. Branson AirExpress, operated by ExpressJet Airlines, will operate the nonstop flights May 17th.
The nonstop flights are a first for the airport which usually operates between destinations. Offering nonstop flights comes with unique requirements such as mid-air refueling and restocking of supplies. The Airport [...]
Ozarks Reportedly Forced Into Time Warp
Springfield, MO—Local residents were reportedly forced into a strange and unexpected time warp Sunday which may be linked to an ancient tradition of sun worship. Several residents experienced the movement of time and space by exactly one hour.
“I woke up and started getting ready when I noticed that my phone and computer clocks were reporting [...]
Springfield’s Lil’ Tombstone Recognized
Springfield, MO—The business district north of Glenstone and Sunshine, unofficially known as Lil’ Tombstone, has officially been awarded the “Best Themed Business Zone” for 2010. Lil’ Tombstone businesses include Coyote’s Adobe Café, Ben’s Carriage House, Midnight Cowboy, Herradura Mexican Restaurant and The Pony Club.
Lil’ Tombstone offers Springfieldians the opportunity to hitch their horse at Ben’s [...]
Branson Airport Adds Animal Mounts to Planes
Springfield, MO—Not to be outdone by the Springfield-Branson National Airport’s increase in passengers, the Branson Airport has unveiled plans to add hunting trophies to the interior of each flight arriving and departing from the terminal.
“Most airports have distinct personalities, we have a rustic outdoor sporting feel and the taxidermy has been a welcome addition to [...]
John Q de Hotelier Statue Announced
Branson, MO—New statue plans were announced today to honor James Quentin Hammons, the holiest of hoteliers. Known as an American businessman and one of the nation’s premier developers of upscale luxury hotels and resorts, “John Q”, has conveyed a message of representing the general public and progress in Springfield, Missouri and beyond.
Overlooking Table Rock Lake, [...]
Secret Society Implements Symbol in Springfield Road Construction
Springfield, MO—Conspiracy theorists are claiming that the FreeDiamonds, an underground group in the Ozarks, is implementing a wicked secret symbol in the construction of diverging diamonds into everyday society. The existing and proposed locations of these traffic designs are said to form a satanic goat head with four existing points that represent fire, water, earth [...]
Line of Disappointed Public Transit Seekers at Trolley’s
Springfield, MO—Occasionally long lines of commuters seeking a ride through the city will form outside Trolley’s, a popular downtown Springfield restaurant. Last weekend more than 35 people assembled waiting to purchase a seat on Springfield’s Trolley.
“The sign says ‘Trolley’s’ so there better be a dang ol’ electric powered car to haul my butt around,” said [...]
Prehistoric Monument Found at Interchange
Springfield, MO— A prehistoric monument was uncovered in southern Greene County today at the U.S. 65-U.S. 60 interchange and dubbed “Springhenge”. The iconic stone monument is composed of earthworks lined in a setting of large standing stones and sits at the centre of the densest complex of Ozarkian and Springfieldian forests in Missouri, including several [...]
MoDOT’s Highway Hijinks Confuse, Entertain
SPRINGFIELD, MO—The Missouri Department of Transportation says this is the best practical joke they have ever pulled and they are enjoying every moment of it.
On Monday they unveiled the first interchange of its kind in the United States, and it’s now open in north Springfield. It’s a diverging diamond interchange at I-44 and Kansas Expressway [...]
Branson Airport Celebrated With Congestion
Branson—This past weekend thousands of people gathered to celebrate the opening of the new $155 million Branson Airport in highway 76-style: waiting in traffic.
Yes, Saturday hundreds of visitors sat in traffic for hours before even reaching the new facility to enjoy the Branson air show. Branson Mayor, Raeanne Presley, said, “our citizens have a long [...]
New Airport Terminal Thanks to Terrorists
Springfield—The long-awaited, $115 million Midfield Terminal will open Wednesday, thanks in large part to terrorism. “Yeah, the terrorists have won again, we’re going to move to the new awesome terminal instead of the old shabby terminal that is inadequate for security purposes,” said Kent Boyd from the Springfield-Branson National Airport.
The old terminal has run out [...]
Springfield Driver Discovers Turn Signal
SPRINGFIELD — Tuesday morning was just like any other for Jan Worther, until she made a startling discovery. She had just dropped off her two daughters at school and was heading to yoga class in her 2008 Cadillac Escalade along East Battlefield Road. Unexpectedly, a cat ran in front of her car/truck/tank, forcing her to [...]
