All Entries Tagged With: "branson"
Copper Coin City opens at Former Red Roof Mall
Branson, MO – During a special meeting, the Branson Board of Aldermen approved the ownership transfer of Factory Merchants mall to the city paving the way to lease the land for Copper Coin City – a new theme park set in the Middle ages complete with a feudal system, Crusades, chivalry and courtly love. The [...]
“Hindenburg Museum” Opening Across from “Titanic”
Branson, MO- It looks as if fire and ice will come together when Branson’s Hindenburg Museum will open next month directly across the street from the world famous Titanic Museum. The Hindenburg Museum will let visitors see the horror of the famous explosion that destroyed the LZ 129 Hindenburg zeppelin on May 6, 1937 through [...]
What a Corn Maze!
Verona, MO – An excited community has prepared to celebrate the coming fall season by featuring a time honored tradition of knocking down crops into a confusing shape to befuddle strollers in a maze of happiness. This year’s shape in Verona is focused around America’s famous Russian comedian, Yakov Smirnoff. “What a corn maze!” exclaimed [...]
Airplane Finally Lands at SGF Airport
Springfield, MO—A homemade Pipistrel airplane, holding two men, has finally landed now that the Springfield-Branson National Airport has finally reopened. “For Pete’s sake it is a national airport. I didn’t expect it to be shut down for three-four days,” said the pilot, Nick Shelby, upon landing, “you don’t see Regan or O’Hare closing for [...]
Glen Beck Opens Branson Theatre
Branson, MO—The American conservative radio and television host, author, entrepreneur, and political commentator Glen Beck recently announced that he is opening a theatre in Branson where he will host daily shows for live audiences. The news follows Beck’s comes just one month after he left the Fox News Channel on June 30th, 2011. Beck’s company, [...]
Branson Bumper Car Racetrack Approved
Forsyth, MO— Officially, bumpin’ not rubbin’ is now racing. Members of the Taney County Planning Commission approved plans tonight for a $250 million electric-motor fueled bumper car racetrack outside of Big Cedar in a 4-2 vote. Professional drivers will be allowed to ram into each other however they must be at least 52 inches [...]
Silver Dollar City Creates Genuine 1800’s Roller Coaster
Springfield, MO- Silver Dollar city revealed it’s new roller coaster “Guiteau’s Bullet” to the crowd of park patrons yesterday. The roller coaster, which reaches speeds of 8 miles per hour, was created and operated by technology only around the 1880’s. “We decided to put our silver coins where our chops is. We always boast [...]
Branson Blasted For Serving Patrons Under 65
Branson M0- After a police sting operation, numerous restaurants in the Branson area have been found guilty of serving patrons under the age of 65. Branson known as the “Vegas of the Mid-West With Colostomy Bags” prides itself to be the vacation spot for the old and old at heart. Many of the “youngins” [...]
Royal Couple to Honeymoon in Branson
Branson, MO—According to Royal sources, William, Duke of Cambridge and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, are headed to Branson for their regal honeymoon this month. Catherine and William, who had been under a microscope by the wacky Royalists (those who fantasize about royalty) in the weeks leading up to their wedding, sought some privacy for [...]
Giant Cock Erected in Branson
Branson, MO-A giant white cock-a-doodle-doo has landed on Highway 76 in Branson at the Great American Steak & Chicken House which opened on Tuesday. Visitors who heard about the 43-foot tall structure wondered if it was indeed a colossus poultry or a monument to the male reproductive organ. “I heard it was a giant wiener, [...]
Man Finds Nephew Less Annoying this Christmas
Branson, MO – Local uncle Kevin Pollard has discovered an unexpected gift this holiday season: his sister’s son, Skyler, is slightly less annoying than he was this time last year. In past years Pollard has experienced anxiety during family visits due to what some call Small Relative Stress Disorder (SRSD). “I’m just not really good [...]
Branson’s Carnie Tax Credit Attracts Circuses
Branson, MO—The City of Branson is starting to reap the benefits of the recent “Carnie” tax credit and designation of the Carnie Enterprise Zone (CEZ) in Taney County. These incentives have allowed businesses to take advantage of city tax credits and deductions not available to businesses elsewhere. Those who have recently benefitted from the CEZ [...]
Daly’s Pants Displayed at Murder Rock
Branson, MO – In honor of John Daly’s 6-under-par 66 in the first round of the Open Championship, his outrageous pants have been shipped directly to his Murder Rock Golf and Country Club in the Ozarks. Officially licensed replica trousers will be available for purchase in the coming weeks. “When John christened Murder Rock playing [...]
Nelly Claims Grand Palace Too “Hot in Herre”
Branson, MO—Cornell Haynes, Jr., better known as Nelly, had planned to perform an outdoor concert in the Grand Palace parking lot August 21st before the City of Branson turned down a permit for the event. Having visited the Grand Palace, Nelly claimed the theatre was “getting hot in here” and preferred to have an outdoor [...]
Japanese Beatles Headed to Branson
Branson, MO – Liverpool Legends stage manager, Mitch Grunion, couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the billboard on Hwy. 76 displaying a color ad for the Japanese Beatles performing live at the Butterfly Palace. “Louise isn’t going to like this” he exclaimed as he pulled over to snap a picture of the ad on [...]
