Springfield, MO – Local senior Nancy Newman once again drove her 1994 Buick Regal through the parking lot of the old Dillons on West Kearney wondering when exactly the long time grocery chain would be open again.
“I’ve been coming every day since December 24 trying to buy my Metamucil and soap opera digest magazines.” said the local senior. “I guess these kids took a longer winter break. They’re probably busy Facegoogling or Instatwiting.”
Mrs. Newman’s car has apparently circled the deserted lot every afternoon at 12:30, the left blinker continually on, wondering when the store will reopen. “Kids these days and their poor work ethic.” said Mrs. Newman. “Back in my day, we showed up to work. We didn’t stay home listening to Kayne South records!”
When asked why she didn’t just go to another store, Mrs. Newman replied, “What?”
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