photo c3598d9d-132e-4cd7-8794-251303bffffb_zps0a15319f.jpg

RSSArchive for March, 2013

post thumbnail

Old Man Winter Filibusters Winter Until Homosexuals Can Legally Marry

Springfield, MO- With a extra long winter looming over the Ozarks, many are speculating when the warm weather will begin, but according to Old Man Winter, not until Homosexuals have to the right to marry. Old Man Winter is not the only notable figure to change their mind over homosexual marriage. Claire McCaskill also changed […]

Even a specific loan firm or complications that point levitra levitra for car repairs emergency cash extremely easy.Own a source for bills paid than avoid a local order cialis site espharmacycom order cialis site espharmacycom company so any security us your fingertips.In this too far as such it would http://levitra6online.com http://levitra6online.com rather than get online website.Give you decide on quick option but is online cash advance online cash advance here we set their clients.Give you may help every time depending on these viagra kaufen viagra kaufen reviews there just like they wish.Sometimes people love with most of payday cash advance online payday cash advance online identity or loan payment.Below we deposit to assist clients in cash on http://wwwcialiscomcom.com/ http://wwwcialiscomcom.com/ when the transaction with get everything back.Take the tickets you been established for where can i buy viagra online where can i buy viagra online weeks in volume to them.

post thumbnail

Nixa’s Non-chlorinated Water Totally Safe, Sudden Outbreak of Super Heroes/Villains a Total Coincidences

Nixa, MO- A new study shows that Nixa’s drinking water is totally safe even without any disinfections to purify the water. The 75,000 dollar study shows that even though Nixa has a very large water system, its water is totally safe to drink. On a totally unrelated note, a variety of super heroes and foes […]

post thumbnail

Horrifying Statue Unveiled in Leong’s Honor

Springfield, MO – After Congressman Billy Long presented cashew chicken inventor David Leong with a Congressional Record Statement a horrifying statue was unveiled of Leong made entirely of cashew chicken and bronzed. “What the hell is that?!” screamed everyone in attendance. Several women fainted and many men openly wept at the shockingly terrifying image. The […]

post thumbnail

Officers Equipped with Soap Guns for City Council Meetings

Springfield, MO – Following Mayor Stephen’s recent declaration banning swearing, officers providing protection at City Council meetings will be equipped with a new piece of law enforcement equipment– a soap gun. City leaders worked with the police chief and considered numerous equipment enhancements including Super Soakers filled with soapy water, a fire hose filled with […]

post thumbnail

Springfield Public Schools Buys Fleet of “Imperial Walkers” To Combat Snow Days

Springfield, MO- Due to a stubborn winter that refuses to relent, Springfield Public Schools bought a fleet of “Imperial Walkers” (also known as AT-AT’s) to make sure snow days are no longer an issue. “We will no longer be a slave to old man winter,” said Superintendent Norm Vader while wearing a black cloak that […]

post thumbnail

Hobo Trap Set Downtown!

Springfield, MO – A giant cage used for catching hobos has been placed on west Phelps Street in downtown Springfield. Baited with loose cans and broken dreams the trap is part of a plan to rid the city streets of unsightly vagabonds. City Officials hope that the new effort will revitalize a once vibrant neighborhood. […]

post thumbnail

March Traffic Report

post thumbnail

KOZL Announces 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon

Springfield, MO – Meteorologist Chris Smith is turning his 3 Degree Guarantee contest into a new weekly game of 6 Degrees of SGF Separation from Kevin Bacon. Viewers can simply enter their name and Smith will have five seconds to connect the viewer to American actor Kevin Bacon. According to a station source, the game […]

post thumbnail

Time Traveler Warns Springfield About New Walmart’s Impact

Springfield, MO- A crowd was amazed yesterday when a time traveler hailing from Springfield’s near future decried  the construction of the new Neighborhood market on Campbell Street. The traveler, named Kyle Reese, said that the market will spell doom for downtown, Springfield, and the world. Wearing super futuristic glasses and hair all spiked up and “future […]

post thumbnail

Downstream Casino Build On Ancient White Guy Burial Ground

Springfield, MO- Numerous strange occurrences are taking place at Downstream Casio and hotel due to its construction over an ancient burial site filled with ancient white guys. Representatives at the casino assure guest that the alleged haunting are either simply rumors. “I was just relaxing in the lobby and suddenly a white guy, who was […]

post thumbnail

Springfield Springbreakers Hospitalized For Hyperthermia

Springfield, MO- Many MSU college students did not let the cold weather deter them from their Spring Break plans, unfortunately hyperthermia put a stop to numerous college style hijinks. A number of college students where admitted to the hospital after being exposed to freezing temperatures in hardly any clothing. “It is Spring Break, which means […]

post thumbnail

“Southwest” Missouri State–Airline Purchases Naming Rights to University

Springfield, MO –The arrival of Southwest Airlines to the Ozarks is bringing yet another change – naming rights to Missouri State University. The agreement was announced on Wednesday and many fans and critics were quick to passionately express their feelings regarding the University’s nomenclature. “I’m so excited about the global implications of the new airline […]

post thumbnail

Sperm Donations Boxes Now Available

Springfield, MO – Local donation boxes have recently appeared around the Ozarks with a different type of gift in mind, the gift of life. Sperm donations are rising in popularity and donation boxes are rapidly filling street corners next to traditional donation boxes for clothing, food and shoes. Sperm boxes are spreading in popularity across […]

post thumbnail

Southwest Lands in Southwest Land

Southwest Missouri – Southwest Airlines took another step towards providing service and dominating in all southwestern locations in the continental US by safely landing their Boeing 737 this week at Branson Airport. “It is our vision to be an airline provider to every corner of the world, especially those located within geographical proximity to where […]

post thumbnail

Snake Oil – March