All Entries in the "Sports" Category
Boomer Bear Totally Whacked Dude With T-Shirt
Springfield, MO—A local Bears fan was totally whacked in the face with a t-shirt propelled by Missouri State University athletic mascot Boomer Bear during the MSU vs. Southern Illinois University game last night. Witnesses said the incident was quite amusing as the fan turned his head right into the whirling wrapped wardrobe shot from a [...]
Tournament of Champions Produces 7 Losers
Springfield, MO—Moral victories will be handed out this weekend at The Tournament of Champions as eight elite basketball teams battle it out to produce seven eventual short comers and one true champion.
TOC execs confessed that “Tournament of Champions” tends to have a more positive spin and sells more tickets than the more accurate named “Tournament [...]
Ice Cycle-Slyde Opens After Snowfall
Springfield, MO—Snowy weather provided the catalyst for a Ice Cycle-Slyde, a new booming business located at the former Hydra Slyde site. Several teenagers attended the grand opening with their inner tubes, plastic sleds, steel runner mini toboggans and snow boards.
“A dude named Chip was taking a $5 entry fee; I don’t think he really worked [...]
Nixa Athletics Logo to Change
Nixa, MO—Given the close proximity to the Philadelphia Eagles existing logo, the Nixa school district is considering new unique designs to avoid any legal ramifications. After an exhaustive search online, several new designs have been identified. The public is welcome to vote for their favorite design here.
“Our current logo was designed by a person with [...]
Springfield WolfPack Pick Up Larry Johnson
Springfield, MO—Team officials announced that the Springfield WolfPack will be picking up former Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson Jr. for the upcoming indoor football season.
Head coach Mike Burris said, “we’re taking it one game at a time, LJ gives us a great chance to compete week in and week out.” Johnson was set [...]
Swing Right Golf Adds Water Hazard
Springfield, MO—Local driving range and miniature golf course business, Swing Right Golf, added a new water hazard last week. Water hazards, like bunkers, are natural obstacles designed to add both beauty and difficulty to a golf course.
Swing Right Golf owners reportedly wanted to increase the profile of the practice course by situating a natural watershed [...]
One Man Rush to Purchase Rams
St. Louis, MO—Radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh says he is teaming up with St. Louis Blues owner Dave Checketts in a bid to buy the St. Louis Rams. If purchased, it is widely assumed that Limbaugh will institute a Gang of Eight football management style to leverage his experience of on-air offensive lines, piling [...]
Idiot Drivers Sport NASCAR Stickers
Springfield, MO—According to recent driving patterns, Ozarks drivers are seemingly permitted to drive like lunatics once they have prominently placed on their vehicle one of many NASCAR stickers featuring their favorite driver. Area drivers should heed the NASCAR sticker as a warning when traveling public thoroughfares.
“I could see a vehicle approaching me at a [...]
Nationwide Tour Awaits Next Name Change
The Price Cutter Charity Championship enters its 20th year this summer at Highland Springs Country Club in Springfield awaiting yet another name change. Over the past twenty years the tournament has been know by several monikers including the Ben Hogan Tour, Nike Tour, Buy.com Tour and its current iteration named for Nationwide Insurance.
“Well I hope [...]
Bass Pro Shops Enlists Uncle Buck and Calendar Girls as Driver and Crew
Springfield, MO—In a deal announced last week, Martin Truex Jr.’s move to the Michael Waltrip Racing team means the NASCAR driver is donning Napa Auto Parts’ name instead of Bass Pro Shops. BPS has announced that they will employ longtime brand ambassador Uncle Buck to race and his team of aging calendar girls to work [...]
Lazers focused on Kournikova’s Wrist Action
Springfield, MO—The Springfield Lasers have forced the hand of Anna Kournikova (Анна Ку́рникова) as she has agreed to add a pre-match autograph session for all ages during Friday’s World Team Tennis match at Cooper Tennis Complex at an undisclosed location.
Lasers spokesman Bob Nelson confirmed team officials couldn’t say when or where the session would start, [...]
Hooligan Attacks Soccer Field With Truck
Springfield, MO—A hooligan motorist was arrested Tuesday at the Cooper Family Soccerplex after launching his pickup truck through a fence, shredding two soccer fields and ramming the truck repeatedly into a concession stand.
Witnesses told Springfield police the suspect got out of the truck, walked to the Killian Sports Complex and verbally abused several people leaving [...]
Dingy Bigger Than Entire Boat
Classic boats were on display at this weekend at Table Rock Lake as important pieces of history. In fact, many boat lovers hit the lake this weekend to mock the 2009 Classics Cruisin’ weekend attendees.
Before the festivities took place a christening occurred of The Flying Wasp. The captain of the boat said, “I’ve got a [...]
Louie the Mascot Ponders Relationship Status
Springfield, MO—Moments after the bride and groom exchanged vows on the diamond at Hammons Field Saturday, Louie the mascot began contemplating his own relationship status. Having been on the road now for 5 years, Louie has shown signs that settling down may be in his future.
“I remember when we, ‘big’ Cards, came to town to [...]
Tyler Hansbrough to lead new NBA team in SEMO
Favorite son returns to hometown with new professional team P.B. Jays.
Poplar Bluff, MO – Tyler Hansbrough plans to found a new NBA team after completing his tenure with the University of North Carolina. The Tar Heels power forward says, “the people of Poplar Bluff deserve professional basketball, and I plan to bring it to them.”
Hansbrough [...]
