Archive for September, 2014
Venice of the Ozarks Briefly Revealed
Springfield, MO – Yesterday flood rains dissected the city of Springfield into a group of 118 small islands separated by canals and for a few moments Springfield existed as the Venice of the Ozarks, further verifying the city as one of the most important tourist destinations in the world. Before the deluge of rain, Springfield, […]
MSU Provost Finally Exacts Revenge
Springfield, MO – In what’s being labeled as “an act thirty seven years in the making”, Missouri State University Provost and Vice Chairman of Bureaucratic Affairs Manfred Finnegan is being hailed as both “a visionary in the art of revenge” and “possibly the worst person to ever exist” as a result of his decision to […]
Mobile Car Compactor Solves MSU Parking Problem
Springfield, MO – Missouri State University officials acknowledged campus parking has been causing extra challenges this fall, because of more students and new construction so they have implemented a plan to bring in a mobile car compactor to help alleviate parking congestion. “When I hear a complaint that says there is no where to park, […]
Clif Smart to Twerk @ MSU Blackout
Springfield, MO – After crowd surfing at the newly renovated Plaster Stadium, Clif Smart has vowed to twerk during Saturday’s 6:00 pm Bears home opener vs. North Dakota if the new student section is packed out for Saturday night’s “Blackout”. Smart set the stage by crowd surfing earlier this week and claimed to raise the […]
MUSEUM OF AMBULANCE CHASING HISTORY SLATED FOR SPRINGFIELD
Springfield, MO – Boasting more accident-injury law firms per capita than any other city in the nation, The Springfield Chamber of Commerce has announced groundbreaking plans for a museum dedicated to preserving and honoring the history of the wildly profitable branch of law once cynically dubbed “Ambulance Chasing”. I. (Ichabod) Slipp, CEO of the future […]
