Springfield, MO—In a deal announced last week, Martin Truex Jr.’s move to the Michael Waltrip Racing team means the NASCAR driver is donning Napa Auto Parts’ name instead of Bass Pro Shops. BPS has announced that they will employ longtime brand ambassador Uncle Buck to race and his team of aging calendar girls to work pit lane.
Uncle Buck’s Mixed Nuts Team will feature scantily clad women from the Bass Pro Shops famous Uncle Buck’s Calendars of the 80’s.
One BPS spokesman said, “we went to a lot of trouble to scrub the internet of all remaining calendar images so we could forget about our past. Now we’re bringing it back for NASCAR…I guess the LPGA sponsors are going to be pissed.”
“BPS is proud to announce Uncle Buck’s Mixed Nuts Racing team to the world,” said Johnny Morris’ spokesperson as he smacked a nearby woman on the keister, “several years ago we decided to clean up our act and cut out some questionable products as we grew into a global brand. Now that the economy is in the tank we are cutting loose and bringing back some fun. Take that you teatotallers!”
Uncle Buck, who is 101 years old, is looking forward to the Sunday drives he was promised and thankful for reuniting with his famous calendar girls as they return to the spotlight after three decades of secluded living in the warehouse behind Wonders of Wildlife.
Filed Under: Sports