Deflated Yard Decorations Terrifying During the Day

Distorted, deflated yard Santa horrifies passerbys during the day

Springfield, MO—After the sun goes down Bernard Frinton’s Christmas decorations light up any person’s heart during the holidays, however, during the day the deflated Santa’s, snowmen and mess of lighting is enough to scare any holiday revelers right out of their elf shoes.

“We drove by the decorated house today while going to the store and the whole set up looked like a prison yard, coils of wire, cords and what looked to be barbed wire handing from every possible place,” said Holly Milnger a mother of four.

According to Milnger, her four-year-old son asked her why Santa was facedown in the front yard. “I didn’t know what to tell him. I said he was taking a nap. The blow up Santa looked like he had melted into the Earth. What am I supposed to say: ‘Santa was melted by the bad girls and boys terrible decisions?’” said Milnger.

Neighbors have also expressed concern. “I was out to get the paper and one of the deflated snowmen started to whip in the wind, it stood straight up for a second and its distorted face, crooked carrot nose, twisted smile, crossed eyes scared the eggnog out of me!”

To avoid frightening small children and unsuspecting adults, those who decorate their yard with blow up characters are urged to either keep them plugged in at all times or bring them inside every morning.

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  1. Allen Marsh says:

    How the heck do you pronounce ‘Milnger?’

  2. says:

    The “L” is a silent flemmish. “Men-ger” I would guess!