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2,000 People Got They Grillz Did

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Mayor O'Neal with his Grillz

Springfield, MO – Over 200 dentist banded together last week to provide fake gold teeth, removable gold grills, platinum teeth, and gold grillz to hundreds of Missourians who otherwise might not have been able to afford them.


Many people waited as long as 22 hours outside the Ozark Empire Fairgrounds in hopes of receiving the free oral jewelry, hosted by the Missouri Grillz Mission charity.

“We were surprised by the turnout — it ensures, rather guarantees that a person has more money than brains,” said, Tom Yankers, co-chair of the Missouri Grillz Mission.

“This program shows that if provided freely, any dreadful fashion – save fanny packs – will be embraced by the people who need it least,” said Dr. Newton Figgery, an opponent of such conspicuous spending.

The Grillz program was meant to show that one doesn’t have to be excessively wealthy to afford to put diamonds on their chicklets. “Gangsta dentures, expensive braces and metal mouthpieces should not only be made available to rich people. Everyone should have the right to wear gold, silver, diamond, and platinum between their gums,” said Rachel Norrisonvilleshire who had her teeth did at the event.

“Grillz are the ultimate sign of wealth and power, that’s why I got mine done, that’s a powerful image!” said Mayor Jim O’Neal.

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