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Giant Water Tower Terrorizes City!

 

Giant water tower moments before it became animated

Springfield, MO – The giant water tower on North Glenstone began moving late yesterday morning; the giant legs began to shift and the structure stumbled down the street crushing property in its path. Witnesses said the tower began to moan and wail before making an abrupt exit from its long-time position on the East side of the street.

The path of destruction caused by the animated water tower is estimated to be in the millions of dollars. Local businesses, homes, automobiles and powerlines were destroyed as it ambled its way toward an unknown destination. The giant destroyer finally made it to Springfield Lake, attempting to attack the power plant when it sank into the waters presumably for good.

“Technically, the tower is gone. We’re not sure where it went or how,” said one City Utilities spokesperson. Plenty of locals have opinions on what happened. “I saw the darn ol’ thang pick up and leave. Pretty sure an alien force breathed life into it and gave it instructions to crush any foreign made car in its path. I seen it smash a Toyota with a single step – kaplow! ” said Howie Masterson a long time resident of Roundtree Neighborhood.

Residents attempted to stop the giant metal beast by creating trip wires, directing it into the nearby quarry, and shooting it with deer rifles. According to reports the stumbling devastation causing water tower simply wouldn’t be taken down easily. City Utilities is planning to field a task force to investigate the matter.

 

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  1. Dave says:

    The water tower is on South Glenstone. As you very well know, all the cool stuff is on the South side of our fair city.