Springfield, MO – Springfield’s city council voted to pass an ordinance that would minimize the penalty for marijuana possession this week, opening the door to smoke-outs, ganja jungles, blunt block parties and year-round bud seasons.
When asked about the measure, city council members used numerous mentions of “man”, “like” and “dude” while answering reporter questions, all the while inquiring about nearby snacks. Transcripts show “You gonna eat those cheesie-poofs?”, “let’s go for a Dorito taco” and “triscuits are the biscuits” were all reflected in the meeting notes. Reports suggest that marijuana smoke was actually piped into the meeting room reducing their inhibitions to block the measure.
Synthetic pot K2 distributors were furious, “Why can’t our product be legalized, while natural weed is decriminalized?” they demanded. City council responded with a resounding “chill man, like you’re gonna be just fine.”
Citizens are more open to the idea of decriminalizing lesser amounts of marijuana. “I’m thinking about becoming a micro-distributor. Micro beers are doing great these days and micro-marijuana seems like something just about anybody could get into,” said Shawn Messerfoot. “Of course, I’d have to make lots of deliveries.”
Police are less optimistic. “Busting pot heads is one of the easiest things I can do during my day. It sucks really, instead of taking care of some law busting pot-head, I’m now going to have to spend more time tracking down more dangerous criminals. Not that chasing criminals is bad, but it is nice to have a break once in a while,” said one officer.
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