“Stonehinge” Not a Typo, Developers Insist
FairCityNews.com | Jun 18, 2010 | Comments 0
Development confirmed to be named after a hinge made of stone or something
Springfield, MO – A new subdivision in northeast Springfield named “Stonehinge” is apparently named after an actual stone hinge, and is not, as was widely believed, simply a misspelling of the name “Stonehenge.” “Stonehenge” is the name of a prehistoric monument located in rural England built, it is believed, around 2500 BC.
“Stonehinge,” on the other hand, is the name of a new 45-home development located just northeast of Sunshine and West Bypass. The area is being developed by Nazca Lines company, and company spokesman Brock Spinley insists that the spelling of the name is intentional.
“Uh… yeah, it’s supposed to be spelled like that,” Spinley says. “We wanted a name that bespoke permanence, solidity, and the wisdom of mysterious ancient peoples. And what could be more permanent, solid, and mysterious than a hinge made out of stone?”
“It’s news to me,” shrugged independent contractor Doug Trench as he sat in the cab of his backhoe shredding a hundred-year-old silver maple. “I figured they named it after that thing on ‘Spinal Tap.’” He guffawed at the memory of dwarves prancing around an 18-inch-high replica of the prehistoric monument located in Wiltshire County, England.
“I guess I always assumed it was named after them big rock things in France or wherever,” said Sue Drake, a homeowner in the subdivision. “You mean it’s named after a hinge? Huh. That could bring our property values way down. I better call our reality lady. How quick are you all gonna publish this?”
Dr. Archie Cantilever, head of Drury University‘s Architecture Department, says that while no definitive history of the hinge exists, he doesn’t believe that hinges were commonly used in prehistoric times. “I mean, the wheel came along around the fifth millennium BCE. But the hinge? No, I don’t believe hinges were in use until maybe the bronze age.”
“I’ve never seen a hinge made out of stone,” admits local Ace hardware employee and self-described hinge expert Darren Cowley. “How would that even work? Stone rubbing against stone would make for a mighty noisy hinge. I’m not even sure a shot of WD-40 would fix it.”
But perhaps there is another explanation. Local know-it-all Justin Nerdley notes “‘StoneHinge’ is a hinge prediction algorithm that peforms a network-based analysis of a single protein structure to detect hinge regions, incorporating both ProFlex, which uses the FIRST constraint counting algorithm, and DomDecomp, which uses Gaussian Normal Mode analysis.”
“Uh, yeah,” adds Nazca Lines spokesman Smugli. “That’s what I meant. We named it after that there alco-rhythm.”
Filed Under: Living
